Lewis Black - Democracy Stinks

  • Season 3, Ep 1
  • 05/08/2000
  • Views: 21,501

Ross Perot looks like the kid in 'Deliverance' all grown up. (2:30)

YOU WOULD THINK

THAT THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING,

THAT THE PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRYWOULD REALLY WANT A THIRD PARTY.

THE REPUBLICANSCOULD HAVE WON THIS TIME,

COULD HAVE WON IN A WALK,

BUT FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS,

THEY AND THE DEMOCRATS HAVE JUSTKIND OF NOT HAD ANY CONCEPT

OF WHAT WE'RE THINKINGOR DOING.

BUT WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED--

THE REPUBLICANS SHOULD HAVE HADNO PROBLEM.

WHEN BILL CLINTONGOT INTO HIS MESS,

PRETTY MUCH EVERY AMERICANWANTED BILL CLINTON PUNISHED.

THEY DIDN'T WANT HIM IMPEACHED,

BUT THEY WANTED SOMETHINGLIKE A SPANKING OR SOMETHING.

SO THEY TURNED--

THEY TURNED TO THE REPUBLICANSAND SAID,

"COME ON, GET HIM.GET HIM."

AND THE REPUBLICANSTOOK OUT THEIR GUNS,

GOT HIM IN THEIR SIGHTS,TURNED THE GUNS AROUND,

AND WENT BAM!

[applause]

SO YOU'D THINKWE'D HAVE A THIRD PARTY.

YOU'D THINK,

WITH THE INTELLIGENCEIN THIS COUNTRY,

AND THE UTTER DISGUST OF WHATPEOPLE ARE FEELING ABOUT THINGS,

THAT WE WOULD COME UPWITH A THIRD PARTY--

AND WE CAME UP WITH ONE,ONE STARTED BY H. ROSS PEROT,

WHO'S A REALLY GOOD LEADER

IF YOU'RE LOOKINGFOR BATS IN A BELFRY.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THE AMERICANPEOPLE LISTEN TO H. ROSS PEROT.

YOU DON'T LISTEN TO A GUY

WHO LOOKS LIKE THE KIDIN DELIVERANCE ALL GROWED-UP.

[laughter]

JESSE VENTURA--OH, DON'T THINKHE WON'T THINK OF IT.

JESSE VENTURA IS BASICALLY PROOFTHAT THE PEOPLE OF MINNESOTA

ARE NOT SOCIAL DRINKERS.

THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY ALCOHOLICS.

JESSE VENTURA PROVESWHAT'S GREAT ABOUT DEMOCRACY IS

ANYONE CAN BE ELECTEDTO ANY OFFICE.

JESSE VENTURA PROVESWHAT STINKS ABOUT DEMOCRACY:

ANYONE CAN BE ELECTEDTO ANY OFFICE.

DON'T GET ME WRONG;I THINK IT'S GREAT.

I THINK, YOU KNOW, HE SHOULDHAVE THAT OPPORTUNITY, OKAY?

BUT...HE WAS A WRESTLER!

AND BEFORE YOU'RE THE GOVERNOR,

I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE TO DOSOMETHING IN BETWEEN,

LIKE REFEREE.

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