Bobby Lee - My Dad

Bagg, Koplitz, Rubin, Lee Season 4, Ep 0404 12/10/2000 Views: 24,903

Bobby Lee impersonates his dad. (2:22)

SO I'M IN SAN DIEGO.

I HAVE TO HANG OUT WITHMY FOLKS.

AND I LOVE MY PARENTS,BUT THEY'RE BUMMED I'M DOING

STAND-UP COMEDY.

YOU KNOW?

MY DAD CAME TO THIS COUNTRYSO I COULD BE A DOCTOR/LAWYER,

NOT THIS.

MY DAD DIDN'T WAKE UP ONE DAY.

"LET'S SEE, DOCTOR, LAWYER ORCLOWN.

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE CLOWN.

HE CAN WEAR A BIG RED NOSE."

(LAUGHTER)AND HE'S HONEST.

HE GETS DRUNK.

"YOU NOT FUNNY."

(LAUGHTER)"OH, NO.

YOU NOT FUNNY.

I HAVE A JOKE FOR YOU.

KNOCK-KNOCK."

"WHO'S THERE, DAD?""YOU NOT FUNNY."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)"DO YOU KNOW WHY THE CHICKEN

CROSSED THE ROAD, DUDE?""WHY, DAD?"

"YOU'RE TELLING JOKES ON HISSIDE."

(LAUGHTER)"CHICKENS GONNA HAVE TO GET

THE HELL OUT OF HERE."

"CHICKENS CAN'T TALK."

"YOU TALK, CHICKEN BOY."

(LAUGHTER)I REMEMBER MY FIRST JOB.

IT WAS SELLING CORN ON THE SIDEOF THE ROAD.

I HAD A CORN STAND IN ESCONDIDO,CALIFORNIA.

(AUDIENCE MEMBER YELLS OUT)MY DAD HOOKED ME UP WITH THAT

JOB.

"THANKS, DAD."

I WAS SITTING IN MY ROOM,MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS.

MY DAD WALKED IN.

"HEY, LOSER.

I GOT YOU A JOB-U."

I GO, "WHAT IS IT?""YOU'RE GONNA SELL A CORN

ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD."

I GO, "SCREW THAT."

"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

SCREW YOU.

YOU'RE GONNA SELL CORN.

OR YOU'RE GOING TO DIE.

CORN OR DIE."

"ALL RIGHT.

CORN."

SO ONE WEEK I DIDN'T HAVE ANYCUSTOMERS.

RIGHT?

SO I TOLD MY DAD.

I SAID, "HEY, DAD.

I DIDN'T HAVE ANY CUSTOMERS THISWEEK."

HE SAID, "DID YOU YELL 'CORN'"?

"DUDE, I'M NOT GONNA YELL'CORN.'

I'VE GOT A STAND, A SIGN."

"YOU MUST YELL THE CORN.

THEY DON'T KNOW YOU'RE THERE.

THEY CAN'T SEE YOU."

"WHAT?

AM I A NINJA?"SO I'M ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

SO ON THE ROAD OF THE ROAD,PEOPLE GOING 55 MILES PER HOUR.

I'M GOING "CORN!

FRIGGIN' CORN!"(LAUGHTER)

I'M THROWING CORN.

MY DAD'S ACROSS THE STREET.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, DUMB-DUMB."

THANK YOU VERY MUCH,