Laura Kightlinger - Back-Door Sex

CC Presents: Laura Kightlinger Season 7, Ep 8 03/27/2003 Views: 17,284

It's already hard enough to keep the front door nice for company. (2:00)

YOU KNOW, WHENEVER REPUBLICANS

ARE IN OFFICE, YOU SEE THE WORD

"SODOMY" IN THE NEWSPAPER.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

YOU KNOW, PERSONALLY, I'VE NEVER

BEEN INTERESTED IN BACKDOOR SEX.

YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE IT'S ALL I CAN DO TO

KEEP THE FRONT ENTRANCE NICE

FOR COMPANY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

YOU KNOW, SWEEPING THE WALK,

TRIMMING THE HEDGE.

YOU KNOW I'M ONE OF THESE WOMEN.

I KEEP THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP

ON MY SNOOTCH ALL YEAR ROUND.

AND-- YOU KNOW, IT'S BECAUSE,

YOU KNOW, WHAT IF PEOPLE ARE

IN FROM OUT OF TOWN, YOU KNOW?

THERE AREN'T LIGHTS ANYWHERE

ELSE ON MY BODY.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

ACTUALLY, MY BOYFRIEND AND I--

THIS WAS KIND OF A--

(AUDIENCE GROANS)

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I?

(MEN CHEER LOUDLY)

OKAY.

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I WERE TALKING

ABOUT GETTING MARRIED.

(LAUGHTER)

NO, I DO HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

YEAH, I'VE GOT A BOYFRIEND

AT HOME AND ONE ON THE WAY.

NO.

(LAUGHTER)

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GETTING

MARRIED.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW WHY I WANT TO.

I'M NOT, YOU KNOW, SENTIMENTAL

OR RELIGIOUS OR EVEN STRAIGHT.

BUT I JUST...

(APPLAUSE)

YEAH, I THINK, FOR ME, IT WOULD

MEAN SOMETHING TO BE ABLE

TO CALL FRIENDS AND RELATIVES

AND SAY, "IT'S OFFICIAL."

YOU KNOW WE CAN START REFERRING

TO IT AS SPOUSAL ABUSE.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪