is, it's my job to findthe pearl in the oyster,
to find something goodout of something bad.
You know, in something astragic as the Los Angeles riots,
I found comedy.
The funniest thing Iremember at the LA riots
were the Korean merchants.
Remember these guys on top oftheir shops in front of stores
with guns, trying toscare everyone off.
Now, personally, Ifound that hilarious.
I mean, these guys can't drive.
What makes themthink they can shoot.
I'm a Chinese guytelling a Korean driving
joke, here in NewYork, all right?
That's the pot callingthe kettle yellow.
I need to explain something.
I am not originallyfrom California.
In fact, I immigratedto San Francisco
about 3 1/2 years ago.
For 28 years my liferight prior to that,
I lived in this foreigncountry called Oklahoma.
Thank you, John Steinbeck, WillRogers, Oral Roberts, Oklahoma.
The reason I have to pointthat out is that what you see
and what I say may notbe what you're used to.
Essentially, I'ma redneck trapped
in the yellow man's body.
I'm an Asian with an attitude.
I like MSG.
I mean, it's ironic Igrew up in Oklahoma.
I mean, it's the one placemy relatives can't pronounce.
(SPEAKING WITHCHINESE ACCENT) Byron,
you'll still live in Oklahoma?
No, Grandpa, that's Oklahoma.
Oh, when you move?
I mean, for 28 yearsof my life, people
used to say to me all the time,
(SPEAKING WITH SOUTHERNACCENT) You know,
Byron, Chinese peopleare some of the most
beautiful people in the world.
You know, I reallyused to believe
that until I got to Chinatown.
I mean, there are some buttugly people down there.
One billion Chinesein the world and they
were all winners of the ErnestBorgnine lookalike contest.
Because you guyshave got to realize,
I'm not used to being aroundthat many Asian people.
I mean, back in Oklahoma,my apartment was Chinatown.
I mean, I thought dim sumwas some slow Chinese guy,