Ben Bailey - Balls

CC Presents: Ben Bailey Season 10, Ep 18 04/21/2006 Views: 12,231

Ben has a way to make dental visits more fair. (2:20)

I'M GONNA DO WHEN I GO BACK UPSTAIRS AFTER THE SHOW

IS TEAR OFF MY WIFE'S UNDERWEAR.AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY,

BECAUSE THEY ARE CRUSHING MY BALLS.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

THEY WERE ACTUALLY PRETTY COMFORTABLE AT FIRST.

A LITTLE TOO COMFORTABLE EVEN, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'.

BUT NOW THEY'VEBEGUN TO CHAFE.

SPEAKING OF BALLS,

I WAS AT THE DENTIST EARLIER THIS WEEK.

I KNOW AT THIS POINT YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING

JUST WHAT THE CONNECTION MIGHT BE, WELL, HERE IT IS.

I BELIEVE THAT WHILE YOU ARE AT THE DENTIST

AND HE IS WORKING ON YOUR TEETH

BY LAW YOU SHOULD BE ALLOWEDTO HOLD HIS BALLS IN YOUR HAND.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

JUST TO SORT OF EVEN UPTHE ODDS A LITTLE BIT.

THAT WAY WHEN HE LEANS IN AND GOES,

"THIS WON'T HURT A BIT," YOU CAN GO,

"YEAH, YOU BETTER HOPE IT DOESN'T...

"'CAUSE I'VE GOT YOUR BALLS IN MY HAND.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND IF YOU HURT ME, I WILL HURT YOU."

I DID THAT JOKE IN A CLUB ONE TIME.

THERE WAS A WOMAN RIGHT IN THE FRONT ROW AND SHE GOES,

[High-Pitch Voice] "WHAT IF THE DENTIST WAS A WOMAN?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WELL, SHE THOUGHT SHE HAD ME STUMPED.

BUT TO METHE ANSWER WAS OBVIOUS.

"THEN THE JOKE DOESN'T WORK, BITCH."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NOW, SHE DIDN'T THINK THAT PART WAS FUNNY EITHER.

PROBABLY A DENTIST...

- AND A LESBIAN. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THERE'S REALLY NO BASISFOR THE LESBIAN PART.

JUST KIND OF FUN TO THROW IT IN THERE AT THE END.