DL Hughley - White Daredevils

DL Hughley: Shocked and Appalled Season 1, Ep 101 05/15/2005 Views: 9,928

DL Hughley is amazed by the kind of things that white people get away with saying to the police. (2:33)

Watch Full Episode

'CAUSE STUFF THAT HAPPEN TO

WHITE FOLKS DON'T HAPPEN TO

NOBODY ELSE.

IT DOES.

I LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

AND TWO PEOPLE WERE MAULED BY

MOUNTAIN LIONS.

AND I KNEW RIGHT AWAY THEY

WASN'T BLACK PEOPLE.

[LAUGHTER]

'CAUSE WE DON'T HIKE.

[LAUGHTER]

[CAUCASIAN ACCENT] "I'M GOING,

I'M GOING WALKING IN THE WOODS

WITH A STICK."

[LAUGHTER]

ONLY WAY A MOUNTAIN LION GONNA

EVER GET BLACK PEOPLE IS IF IT

LEARN HOW TO PICK A LOCK.

[LAUGHTER]

BLACK PEOPLE DON'T MESS WITH

DEATH.

LIKE IT'S ONLY WHITE DAREDEVILS.

ONLY WHITE DAREDEVILS.

YOU DON'T SEE NO BLACK

DAREDEVIL.

[CAUCASIAN ACCENT] HAH,

I'M GONNA TEASE YOU DEATH.

HA-HA, DIDN'T GET ME THIS TIME.

ONE DUDE JUMPED OVER NIAGARA

FALLS.

BLACK PEOPLE WE DO NOT [BLEEP]

WITH DEATH 'CAUSE IT'S DANGEROUS

ENOUGH JUST BEING BLACK.

IT IS.

IT'S DANGEROUS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WE COULD HAVE AN EXCITING DAY

JUST DOING REGULAR [BLEEP].

IF WE WANT TO DO SOMETHING

REALLY DANGEROUS WE'LL DRIVE

THROUGH THE SUBURBS FULL DEEP

WITH A TAILLIGHT OUT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OR FILL OUT A CREDIT

APPLICATION.

AND STAY THERE WHILE IT'S

PRINTING OUT.

"YEAH, I'LL STAY HERE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'M A STAY RIGHT HERE."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

'CAUSE WHITE PEOPLE, YOU GUYS

HAVE NO NATURAL FEAR,

THEY AIN'T SCARED OF THE POLICE.

THEY'LL TALK [BLEEP] TO THE

POLICE.

[CAUCASIAN ACCENT]

"HURRY UP AND WRITE THE [BLEEP]

DAMN TICKET, YOU SON OF A BITCH.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

PIG.

GIVE ME YOUR BADGE NUMBER,

ASS [BLEEP].

YOU'RE AN ASS [BLEEP]."

[LAUGHTER]

THAT DON'T WORK FOR US.

"GIVE ME YOUR BADGE NUMBER.

OH!

[BEATING NOISE]

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OH, OH!

I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

BLACK PEOPLE AND LATIN PEOPLE

GOT A WHOLE DIFFERENT

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE POLICE.

YOU EVER HAD THE POLICE FOLLOW

YOU SO LONG YOU GET SUSPICIOUS

AT YOUR OWN [BLEEP] DAMN--

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WELL, MAYBE I DID KILL THEM

PEOPLE.

I GUESS I'M GONNA TURN MYSELF

IN.

I--

[LAUGHTER]