Gabriel Iglesias - Bottle of Purell

Shaun Latham, Tommy Chunn & Carlos Oscar Season 1, Ep 3 10/27/2011 Views: 63,549

Gabriel Iglesias recounts a story involving Martin Moreno, gambling and hand sanitizer. (1:18)

But he is crazy.

I want to tell you guys

a Marty Moreno story. Okay?

We did a show atone of the casinos.

I won't say where,but it's pretty close.

And, uh...

after the show was over, we wentover to gamble a little bit.

and we're at a roulette table,

and we're,we're gambling, right?

But, apparently, the chips werereally old and really dirty,

so like you pick up one,and it would stick to four.

Nasty, right?

So we're playing foran hour, my hands

are covered with this stuff.So I tell Martin,

"We're losing our ass, dude,let's just go eat."

You know, I know I'mgoing to win there.

(audience laughing)Right? So we go over

to the café, and I go,"Martin, you know what, bro,

let me stop by the bathroom soI can wash this off my hands."

And he goes, "Gabe, don't worry,bro, I got it. I got Purell."

All right. Well, sure.So we go to the café,

and we sit down. We both order.

I go, "Hey, Martin, let meget some of the Purell."

All right? So he says,"All right, here you go,"

I go, "You know,man, it's not...

"not really cutting it.Can I get some more?" All right.

Oh, you know, Martin, it's notreally cutting the grime, bro.

I go, "You sure it's Purell?"

He goes, "Yeah, dude,look. It's Purell."

Well, all right.Let me get some more.

So I'm just rubbing it on and...

Nothing is happening.I'm getting frustrated.

I go, "Martin, are you sureit's Purell?"

And he gets pissed at me.

"Yeah! It's Purell, all right?


I looked at the bottle.

It didn't say Purell.It said "Pure Anal."

(audience laughing)