Greg Giraldo: WELL, I DON'T
KNOW IF THESE WILL BE ISSUES
OR NOT, BUT YOU KNOW, THERE'S
A LOT OF BIO-ETHICAL ISSUES,
CLONING, STEM CELL RESEARCH,
YOU KNOW.
NOBODY CARES ANYMORE NOW WE'RE
IN A BIG WAR, BUT CLONING
IS GOING TO HAPPEN, LET'S FACE
IT.
LET'S FACE IT.
CLONING IS GOING TO HAPPEN.
I JUST DON'T TRUST THE PEOPLE
DOING THE CLONING.
FIRST OF ALL, WE'VE GOT THIS
GUY IN ITALY, A FERTILITY
DOCTOR, ANTINORI.
HE'S SUPPOSEDLY CLONING BABIES.
AND YOU KNOW, LAST YEAR HE
HELPED A 72-YEAR-OLD WOMAN
GIVE BIRTH TO A BABY BOY.
A 72-YEAR-OLD WOMAN GIVING
BIRTH TO A BABY BOY.
NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT MAKES
A KID GAY, BUT I WOULD HAVE
TO THINK THAT SUCKING ON A
72-YEAR-OLD TITTY WOULD HAVE
TO BE A FACTOR.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
WE CAN HAVE THE NATURE VERSUS
NURTURE ARGUMENT LATER IF YOU
WANT, BUT YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT
IT'S AT LEAST PLAUSIBLE THAT
IF YOUR INTRODUCTION TO
WOMANHOOD IS A CRINKLED-UP
72-YEAR-OLD [BLEEP], THERE'S A
GOOD CHANCE YOU'LL BE SITTING
ON A [BLEEP] AT SOME POINT IN
YOUR FUTURE.
LET'S BE HONEST.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
I'M NOT JUDGING.
I'M SAYING IT'S POSSIBLE.
THEN, OF COURSE, YOU HAVE THE
YOU HAVE THE JAPANESE.
THEY'RE CLONING.
JAPANESE SCIENTISTS, THEY JUST
FOUND A 20,000-YEAR-OLD MAMMOTH
IN THE ICE IN SIBERIA AND
THEY'RE ABOUT TO CLONE IT.
THAT'S GREAT BECAUSE THERE'S
NOTHING THE WORLD NEEDS MORE
RIGHT NOW THAN A GIANT, HAIRY
ELEPHANT.
I'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT.
AND FIRST OF ALL, YOU'D THINK
THE JAPANESE OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD
WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH
PREHISTORIC ANIMALS AFTER
WHAT HAPPENED WITH GODZILLA,
YOU KNOW WHAT I