Safety - Some Jokes About Safety

Season 1 , Ep 5 03/11/09 Views: 85,129

Demetri Martin imagines the worst kinds of burns and an ingenious early warning system for house fires. (0:42)

"OH, MAN, NOW I'M GOING TO GETTWO KINDS OF BURN?

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME."

AND THEN SOMEBODY SAYSSOMETHING SASSY TO YOU.

THAT'S A TRIPLE BURNRIGHT THERE.

I THINK ABOUT SAFETYALL THE TIME.

I'M REALLY CAREFUL TOO,EVEN IN MY OWN HOME.

YOU KNOW, I HAVESCENTED CANDLES,

LIKE, ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I NEVER LIGHT THEM;I JUST HAVE THEM THERE.

BUT I HAVE THEM BECAUSE I KNOW

THAT IF I WAKE UPIN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

AND I'M, LIKE:[sniffs]

"LILAC.

"CRAP, THERE'S A FIRE.

"WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

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