Tom Papa - Bad News

Hollingshead, Papa, Bush, Sklar Brothers Season 2, Ep 0201 06/27/1998 Views: 4,407

They're always adding to the list of stuff that will kill us. (1:57)

YOU EVER NOTICE EVERY TIMEYOU TURN ON THE NEWS

THEY'RE ADDING TOTHE LIST OF STUFF

THAT WILL KILL US.

AND IT'S ALWAYS THE STUFFWE ENJOY, ISN'T IT ?

IT'S NEVER LIKE"LOOK OUT, BROCCOLI !"

FORGET THAT.

YOU'RE NOT GONNALIVE FOREVER

NO MATTER WHATYOU DO.

YOU MIGHT AS WELLENJOY YOUR LIFE.

DON'T SPEND YOUR LIFE

EATING RICE CAKESAND BRUSSEL SPROUTS.

YEAH, WHY WOULD YOUEAT THAT STUFF

IF YOU DON'T ENJOY IT ?

EAT THE STUFFYOU LOVE

LIKE BEER AND NACHOSAND EACH OTHER !

YEAH.

( applause )

THAT'S WHYI DON'T UNDERSTAND

GOING AFTERCIGARETTE SMOKERS.

IT'S ONE THING OF ALLTHE STUFF THAT CAN GET YOU.

WHY SMOKE ?WHY ? WHY ?

YOU KNOW WHATTHEY HOPE TO SAVE

WITH ALL THE SMOKINGLEGISLATION ?

THEY HOPE TO SAVEA MILLION LIVES.

A MILLION LIVES.

COME ON.

DO YOU THINK THAT'SA MILLION GOOD LIVES ?

REALLY, IS THAT A MILLIONPAINTERS OR POETS, NO ?

IT'S A MILLION MOREKNUCKLE-HEADS IN OUR WAY.

I SAY HAND OUTTHE CIGARETTE PACKS,

FREE UP SOMEPARKING SPACES.

( applause )

FINALLY A JUDGE CAME TO HISSENSES IN PHILADELPHIA.

DID YOU CATCH THIS ?

HE THREW ALL THESEPEOPLE OUT OF COURT.

THEY WERE TRYING TO SUETHE CIGARETTE COMPANIES

BECAUSE THEY SMOKEDTHEIR WHOLE LIFE

AND THEN THEY GET SICK,YOU KNOW THESE IDIOTS ?

THEY SMOKE FOR 60,70 YEARS.

THEN THEY SHOW UP,

"I HAD NO IDEAIT WAS BAD FOR ME."

COME ON, YOU'REBREATHING IN FIRE !

WHAT DID YOU THINKYOU WERE DOING ?

TRAINING FORTHE CIRCUS ?!

EVEN IF THEY DIDN'TPUT A LABEL ON THE PACK,

YOU WOULD KNOWIT'S BAD FOR YOU,WOULDN'T YOU ?

THEY DON'T HAVE TO PUTA LABEL ON A HAMMER

FOR ME TO KNOWIF I SMACK MYSELF IN THE FACE,

IT'S GONNA HURT.