Scott Kennedy - America's Most Wanted

Kennedy, Naturman, Arnez J., Paravonian Season 5, Ep 506 11/09/2001 Views: 33,338

Scott thought he had a shot at catching one of America's Most Wanted. (1:31)

I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU I BARELY

EVEN GOT HERE.

I FLEW IN FROM TEXAS TODAY.

AND BEFORE I EVEN DO ANY BITS,

I JUST WANT TO BOUNCE THIS OFF

OF YOU.

WAS I THE ASS?

OR WAS THIS GUY THE ASS?

ALL RIGHT?

THIS IS THE EXACT CONVERSATION

I HAD THIS MORNING IN TEXAS.

CAB DRIVER COMES TO PICK ME UP.

HE GOES "WHERE DO YOU NEED

TO GO, MR KENNEDY?"

I GO "I NEED TO GO TO THE

AIRPORT."

HE GOES "WHERE ARE YOU

FLYING TO, MR. KENNEDY?"

"WELL, I'M FLYING TO NEW YORK

CITY."

I HAVE THIS BIG BLACK SUITCASE.

HE PICKS IT UP AND HE GOES "HMM.

BIG BAG, SHORT TRIP."

WHAT THE (BLEEP).

MAYBE ME STAY LONG TIME.

WHAT--

WHAT--

WHY WE TALK NATIVE AMERICAN

ALL OF A SUDDEN, PARTNER, HUH?

I LOVE TO WATCH COP SHOWS.

MY FAVORITE COP SHOW ON T.V.

IS "AMERICA'S MOST WANTED."

THAT IS THE MOST WANTED PEOPLE

IN AMERICA AND THEY'RE ASKING

FOR HELP.

I URGE YOU TO WATCH THAT SHOW.

IF YOU'RE A BIG FAN OF AMERICA'S

MOST WANTED-- I THINK IT WAS,

AH, THREE WEEKS AGO--

THEY HAD THAT GUY ON THERE GOING

ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY, ROBBING

ALL THOSE CONVENIENT STORES,

BEATING THE HELL OUT OF THE

CLERKS.

I WAS WATCHING THAT.

I'M ON THE ROAD LIKE TWO HUNDRED

DAYS A YEAR.

I FIGURE, I GOT A SHOT

AT CATCHING THIS PUNK.

(LAUGHTER)

IT WAS COOL, TOO, A WEEK AFTER

I SEE THAT PARTICULAR EPISODE,

I PULL INTO THIS CONVENIENT

STORE.

I'M GETTING OUT OF MY CAR.

I SEE THAT SAME GUY I SAW ON

"AMERICA'S MOST WANTED" COMING

OUT.

AND I FREAK, RIGHT?

I, AH--

MY HEART'S POUNDING, YOU KNOW,

I'M--

I WET MYSELF.

I WAS SCARED.

BUT I KNEW WHAT I HAD TO DO.

I RAN OVER THERE.

I TACKLED HIM.

I'M HITTING HIM.

I'M HOLDING HIM DOWN.

POLICE SHOWED UP.

THEY ARRESTED ME.

(LAUGHTER)

APPARENTLY, THEY USE ACTORS.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERING)