Kristen Schaal - Dressing Room Rage

Kristen Schaal: Live at the Fillmore Season 1, Ep 101 04/01/2013 Views: 2,130

Kurt Braunohler encourages Kristen Schaal to go back on stage. (2:24)

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[sobbing]

- Hey.- [sobbing]

Oh, I am notgoing back out there.

I'm done, I have nothing.

- You don't have to,you don't have to.

I put Whoopee on, okay?

- Oh, no.- What?

- Not Whoopee.- No, what?

- It's just fart jokes!- Yeah, but from the master.

They love him.

- You don't care--[farts] and neither do I.

Whoopee cushion.Well, well, well.

- Its over for me!It's over!

There's not evenwater back here!

There's no water!

Who was that little girl?

[screams]

I'll just die![bulbs shatter]

[screams]

I will break you!

Like they broke me!

[screaming]

- You gotta get some whoopee![farts]

[laughter and applause]

- Hey.

You're betterthan this, okay?

- Why can't wedo a show together?

We've been comedypartners for decades.

- You know why we can'tdo a comedy show together.

[somber piano music plays]

- That's not why.

- Yeah, you're right.

Look at me.

This is going to be okay,all right?

Now, give me your eyes.

Come on, give me your eyes.

Give them to me.- Oop.

- Look at me.- You can have them.

- Come on.- There they are.

- Give me 'em.- They're yours.

- Give me your eyes.- Here they are.

- Give me thosebig, old eyeballs.

Give me your eyes,give me your eyes.

Give 'em to me.I'm going to get them.

- I'm lookingright at you.

You want 'em so bad?- Yeah, I want them!

I want 'em!I'm going to get 'em!

- Take 'em.- I'm gonna get 'em!

- Take 'em!- I'm gonna get 'em.

Are you readyto go back on that stage

and give these peoplethe finale they deserve?

- I don't have my horse.

- Hey, you've hadyour horse inside you

the entire time.

[touching piano music plays]

- [giggles]