BUT I'M WATCHING YOU GUYS.
YOU SEEM TO BE IN A GOOD MOOD.
AM I WRONG?
AM I JUMPING THE GUN?
HOW ARE YOU?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
ALL RIGHT.
SEVEN OF YOU GOOD THE REST
OF YOU PISSED OFF.
IT'S NICE TO HAVE YOU FOLKS.
THAT SAID, IT IS GREAT TO BE
HERE.
AND I'M GOING TO BE SAYING
THAT QUITE A BIT TONIGHT JUST
TO CONVINCE MYSELF.
I, UM...
I AM NOT GOING TO KID YOU.
LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
THIS IS A (BLEEP) GIG FOR ME.
ANY HOW, I, UM...
YOU HEARD IT RIGHT!
YUCK IT UP YOU BASTARDS!
LET'S GO!
(LAUGHTER)
I'M NOT GOING TO PLAY THIS STOP
START B.S. WITH YOU PEOPLE.
PICK UP THE PACE.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO TAKE
TO ROCK THIS TOILET?
COME ON!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
ANYHOW, I, UH...
I LIKE HOW SOME PEOPLE ARE
GETTING ME AND SOME ARE LIKE,
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GUYS
PROBLEM?"
"SO IT'S A (BLEEP) GIG?
TAKE OFF A-HOLE."
"WE DON'T NEED TO HEAR YOUR CRAP
YOU SHORT FREAK.
MOVE IT ALONG.
CIRCUS TRAIN'S A LEAVING."
YOU PEOPLE KNOW I'M TALKING?
HOW DO YOU WANT TO WORK IT
EXACTLY BECAUSE I'M DESTROYING
OVER HERE SO FAR.
OVER HERE, "THAT'S
DISRESPECTFUL.
I THINK THAT'S HIS CHARACTER.
I DON'T LIKE IT."
(LAUGHTER)
"ARE YOU GOING TO BE LIKE THIS
THE WHOLE TIME?"
"PROBABLY."
"I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL THEN."
"I'M GOING TO GO HOME AND KILL
MYSELF."
"YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD CALL."
"YEAH, SUCK ON A MUFFLER."
"OH, ALL RIGHT, HAPPY NEW YEAR."
I, AH...
(APPLAUSE)
I LIVE IN LOS ANGELES,
CALIFORNIA FOLKS.
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 91607.
FLEW INTO THE AIRPORT.
I GOT A RENTAL CAR.
I DROVE IN.
I TOOK A GRAND CENTRAL TO A BIG
Q.E., TO L.I.E. TO SOME POINT
IN JERSEY THEN BACK TO MADISON
AVENUE, 42nd STREET TO THE GREAT
WHITE WAY.
RIGHT HERE TO THE (BLEEP) GIG
AND, UM...
I GOT TO TELL YOU, THAT'S
A GORGEOUS 4 1/2 HOUR DRIVE IN
FROM THE AIRPORT.
I...
THEY WERE DOING CONSTRUCTION ON
ONE PART OF THE ROAD AND A LOT
OF PEOPLE BITCH ABOUT IT.
I DON'T CARE.
EVERYBODY GOT TO HAVE A JOB.
WHAT I DON'T LIKE IS WHEN
THEY TAKE THE TWO OR THREE LANES
AND WIDDLE IT DOWN TO A HALF
A LANE.
(LAUGHTER)
AND THEN THEY PUT THOSE CEMENT
WALLS RIGHT UP NEXT TO YOUR CAR.
YOU KNOW, SO YOU'RE DRIVING
NICE, THEN YOU'RE ON THE OLYMPIC
LUGE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
IT'S LIKE, "HEY, THIS IS FANTA--
OH, HEADS UP HERE WE GO.
ALL RIGHT."
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)