Donald Glover - Gay Relationship

  • Season 4 , Ep 0406
  • 11/20/2009
  • Views: 73,863

Donald Glover feels that he would be more successful in a gay relationship. (2:19)

I kind of wish I was gay

'cause I feel like thoserelationships would work better.

I feel like you know

exactly what the other personis thinking.

I feel that way. Like,I feel like, if I was like...

It would just be easier becauseyou'd be sitting there...

I'd be sitting there,watching, like, a movie.

I be watching a moviewith, like, my boyfriend.

I'm sitting there and like,

a big problemin my relationship was,

the girl would be like,"What are you thinking?"

I'm like,"I'm not thinking anything."

She'd be like,"What are you talking about?"

And we'd get in a big fight.

I'm like,"I'm not thinking anything."

If I ever had that thing about--

like, had my boyfriendon the couch-- I'd be like,

"What is he thinking?"I already answered my question.

What am I thinking?

"Why are we (bleep)watching this movie

when we could besucking (bleep)?"

Hello? And I'd be like,"What are you thinking?"

He'd be like, "Yeah,well, why the (bleep)

"are we watching Marley and Me

when we couldbe sucking (bleep)?"

And it'd be like...It'd be great.

It would be great.I would just get that.

The closest I've ever cometo having a boyfriend--

that's a weird reading, youknow? That's a weird thing--

but, like, the closest, I guess,would be the--true to life--

I used to work in Chelsea andI was walking down the street.

I was walkingto the theater to hang out

and this dudecomes out of nowhere,

out of the corner,just comes out and goes,

"Give me that (bleep), boy.

"You bettergive me that (bleep).

"Give me that (bleep), boy.Give me your penis.

Give me your penis."And I was like,

"No, thank you." You know,I just kind of ran away.

And I went into the pizza shopand I got a piece of pizza

and the dude just, like,watched me eat the pizza.

And it was freaking me out.

It freaked me out.And then, like, for real,

two weeks later...two weeks later,

I see this dude on the phone.

He sees me and goes, "Hold on.

"Give me that (bleep), boy.Give me that (bleep).

"Give me that (bleep), boy.Give me that (bleep).

"I'm gonna murder that.I'm going to (bleep)

that bone dry, boy.Give me that penis."

Who the hell was he on the phonewith that made that okay to do?

Like, I would like to imaginehe's on the phone...

You know, like he's in the...

"Hello?Hi. yeah, this is Maurice.

"Oh. M-Malignant?

"Oh, my God. Um...

"No, no. I'm sorry.I just wasn't expect--

(sighs)

"No, no, I'm...

(sobs)

"No, no, no. I'm still here.I'm sorry.

I'm just...No, there's just, um...

"It's just a lotto handle right now.

"I was just... Could youexcuse me for a second?

"Give me that (bleep), boy!Give me that (bleep)!

"Give me that, boy.

"I'm sorry. There's this...

"kid named DonI'm trying to force sex upon.

I'm sorry."

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