Lizz Winstead - Terrorist Attacks

  • Season 9, Ep 2
  • 10/07/2004
  • Views: 2,699

Lizz Winstead refuses to fear terrorist attacks. (2:36)

I MEAN, DOESN'T IT MAKE YOU

ANGRY THAT THEY ARE DOING THIS?

THEY ARE GIVING US TERRORIST

ALERTS THAT ARE 3 YEARS OLD.

HOW STUPID DO THEY THINK WE ARE?

HOW MUCH ARE THEY GONNA TO TRY

TO SCARE US WITH CRAP FOR

INFORMATION?

THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE GONNA TO

HEAR THE DAY BEFORE ELECTION

DAY, "UH, WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED

INFORMATION THAT A GROUP CALLING

ITSELF THE GREEN MOUNTAIN BOYS,

ARE PLANNING AN ATTACK ON THE

BRITISH GARRISON OF FORT

TYTONGARONDA, BE VIGILANT."

[LAUGHTER]

AND I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE ARE

OBSESSED WITH TERROR ATTACKS

WHO ARE GOING TO DIE SO MUCH

SOONER THAN THAT IS EVER GOING

TO HAPPEN, LIKE SMOKERS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HAVE YOU SEEN SMOKERS

COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT AT A

PARTY, GET A COUPLE OF DRINKS

IN THEM, THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU

KNOW, I LIVE BY GROUND ZERO,

MAN AND MY LUNGS HAVEN'T BEEN

THE SAME."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANY OF THIS,

YOU KNOW WHY, BECAUSE I EAT

STREET MEAT.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

IF YOU EAT MEAT FROM A GUY WHO

HAS A ROLLING CART IF YOU GET

IN A CAB, YOU'RE ASKING A

STRANGE GUY TO TAKE YOU

SOMEPLACE.

I'VE ACTUALLY EATEN STREET

MEAT AND THEN GOTTEN INTO A CAB

RIGHT AFTER.

I AM JUST THAT EDGY.

BUT I HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN THIS

FEARLESS, UM, BUT SINCE WE HAVE

ATTACKED IRAQ AND GEORGE BUSH

HAS GIVEN ME THE OKAY THAT

I SHOULD FEEL SAFER, I DO...

[LAUGHTER]

'CAUSE CLEARLY THE WORLD HAS

EMBRACED THE WHOLE IDEA.

I MEAN I WAS NEVER FOR THIS WAR.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THIS WAR WAS

RIDICULOUS BUT I UNDERSTOOD

WHY PEOPLE IN THE BEGINNING

WOULD BE FOR THE WAR BECAUSE

THIS MEDIA NEVER QUESTIONED

A SINGLE THING.

I MEAN, WHAT WAS FOX DOING?

APPARENTLY THEY WERE TOO BUSY

DISMANTLING THEIR FACT CHECKING

DEPARTMENT TO ACTUALLY LOOK INTO

ANY OF THIS AND PERFECTING THEIR

SWOOSH.

YOU KNOW WHEN A LIE COMES IN

IT'S SWOOSH.

IT'S A LIE, WHEN FOX LIES

IT'S A SWOOSH.

[LAUGHTER]

AND C COULDN'T BE BOTHERED

BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO, YOU KNOW,

EMPLOY ALL OF THEIR RESOURCES

TO FIND THE NEXT LACI PETERSON,

SO...

[LAUGHTER]

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