Marc Maron - Perpetual Orgasm

The Amazing Johnathan & Marc Maron Season 1, Ep 0108 02/24/1992 Views: 3,073

Marc is against animal testing, unless it can bring about a state of perpetual orgasm. (3:12)

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

ONE THING I NEVERTHOUGHT I'D HEAR

AS A COMIC IS LIKE,"WAIT, YOU CAN'T GO ON YET.

WE HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE BLOOD."

MAYBE AT THE POST OFFICE,BUT NOT AS A COMIC.

HOW YOU PEOPLE DOING, ALL RIGHT?

( audience reacts )

GOOD.

I FEEL GOOD.

I FEEL GREAT.

I JUST READ AN ARTICLEIN THE PAPER THE OTHER DAY

THAT IN A MEDICAL EXPERIMENT

THEY ACTUALLYHOOKED UP ELECTRODES

TO THE PLEASURE CENTEROF A LAB MONKEY'S BRAIN

AND AT THE FLIP OF A SWITCH

SENT THE MONKEYINTO PERPETUAL ORGASM.

( laughter )

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AGAINSTANIMAL TESTING, BUT...

WHERE DO I GETTHE HOME GAME OF THIS?

( laughter )

MAN, YOU WOULDN'T EVENHAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE.

JUST HAVE A FRIEND COME OVER ANDFLIP THE MATTRESS EVERY FEW DAYS

CHANGE THE I.V. UNIT,MAYBE PUT SOME NEW C.D.s IN.

AND YOU KNOW, SONY WOULDCATCH ON EVENTUALLY.

YOU REMEMBER HOW LONG IT TOOKTO GET USED TO WALKMEN--

PEOPLE WEARING WALKMEN?

IMAGINE IF PEOPLE HADELECTRODES IN THEIR HEAD

AND AT WILLCOULD JUST GO, "OH, GOD!

"YEAH, MAN!

WHOA!"

THEY COULD NEVERLET THE TECHNOLOGY OUT.

THEY'D HAVE TO REGULATE IT

BECAUSE NO ONE WOULDGET ANYTHING DONE.

PEOPLE WOULD BEFALLING OFF BIKES.

( shuddering pleasurably )

( laughter )

JOGGING.

OH... YEAH.

I LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY.

( scattered applause )

YOU ESCAPED, HUH?

GOOD FOR YOU.

BECAUSE MAN, IT ISFALLING DOWN, MY FRIEND.

YOU DON'T REALLY REALIZE

HOW MUCH A BIG CITYCAN NUMB YOUR BRAIN

UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENSTO ILLUSTRATE THAT.

NOW, THIS HAPPENEDTWO WEEKS AGO.

I'M USING A PAY PHONEON THE STREET.

TWO COP CARS PULL UPONTO THE SIDEWALK.

FOUR COPS GET OUT,DRAW THEIR GUNS

TO INVESTIGATE THE STORERIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

AND MY ONLY RESPONSEWAS TO GO, "OH, JESUS."

( laughter )

NOT LIKE, "THEY HAVE GUNS;I'LL CALL YOU BACK"

BUT, "OH, IT MIGHTGET LOUD IN A SECOND.

( laughter )

"HEY, COULD YOU SPEAK UP?

THERE'S GUNPLAY ON THIS END."

ANYTIME YOU USE A PAY PHONEIN NEW YORK CITY

YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE CALLINGFROM THAT HOTEL IN THE GULF:

"THINGS ARE STARTING TO HAPPENIN THE AIR HERE."

( laughter )

"LOOKS LIKE SCUDS ARE COMING IN.

THIS IS A BADNEIGHBORHOOD, MAN."

( laughter )

THAT WAS SORT OF A SHORT WAR

AND GEORGE BUSH KEPT INSISTINGTHAT IF YOU HAD THE VIETNAM TAPE

YOU COULD RECORD RIGHT OVER ITWITH THE GULF.

IT WOULD ERASETHE VIETNAM SYNDROME.

NOW, I'VE DONE SOME READING

AND I THINK A SOLDIERIN VIETNAM 24 HOURS A DAY

PROBABLY LOOKEDSOMETHING LIKE THIS:

"WHERE ARE THEY?

"I CAN HEAR THEM.

"THEY'RE SHOOTING--WHERE ARE THEY?"

WHEREAS A SOLDIER IN THE GULFLOOKED SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

( laughter )

"TURN ON THAT TV.

LET'S SEE IF WE HIT ANYTHING."

( cheering and applause )

"HEY, THEY'RE SHOWING ITOVER AND OVER AGAIN.

"I THINK I'M GETTINGA MEDAL FOR THIS.

PURPLE HEART-- I SPRAINEDMY THUMB-- PURPLE HEART!"