Ted Alexandro - The Jacksons

  • Season 10 , Ep 7
  • 03/09/2006
  • Views: 6,152

The Jackson family could be in cahoots with the government. (3:09)

- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - THANKS.

MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFEHAD A BABY BOY.

I DIDN'T REALIZE, DURING THE CEREMONY,

YOU HAVE TO RENEW YOUR BAPTISMAL VOWS IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CONGREGATION.

SO THEY CALL YOUOUT THERE ON THE ALTAR.

THEY STARTFIRING QUESTIONS AT YOU."DO YOU REJECT SATAN?"

- "I DO." - [LAUGHTER]

"AND ALL HIS WORKS?"

"I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH ALL HIS WORK.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT I'M NOT A FAN."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

WE HAVE A NEW POPE.YOU GUYS LIKE THAT GUY?

- [SCATTERED CHEERS]- YEAH. SOME PEOPLE DO.

HE'S NOT MAKING A LOT OF APPEARANCES, RIGHT.

THE OLD POPE WASPOPPING UP ALL THE TIME.

EVEN WHEN HE WAS DYING, RIGHT, THEY'D WHEEL HIM OUT THERE.

IT WAS LIKE A HITCHCOCK FILM.

HE WAS THERE AND THEN HE WAS GONE.

IT WAS LIKE A WHODUNNIT.

THAT WAS KIND OF A WEIRD TIME THOUGH, RIGHT.

THE POPE WAS DYING, MICHAEL JACKSON ON TRIAL.

TOUGH TIMES FOR THE PEDOPHILIA INDUSTRY, HUH?

YEAH.

WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS.

I THINK MICHAEL JACKSON GETS TOO MUCH PRESS THOUGH.

'CAUSE HE'S ONE GUY, THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IS LIKE

THE MICROSOFT OF PEDOPHILIA. LIKE GIANTS IN THE INDUSTRY.

HE'S RUNNING AMOM AND POP OPERATION WITH LIKE

THE FERRIS WHEEL, COUPLE LAMAS.

- I MEAN SHAMON. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND I BLAME THE PARENTS FOR LETTING THE KIDS SLEEPOVER HIS HOUSE, YOU KNOW.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS TO LET YOUR KID SLEEPOVER MICHAEL JACKSON'S HOUSE

BECAUSE THEY WERE SEDUCED BY FAME.

THAT'S WHAT IT CAME DOWN TO,BECAUSE IT WAS MICHAEL JACKSON.

I'M PRETTY SURE IF GERMAINE OR TITO HAD A SLEEPOVER

THERE'D BE A LOT OF NO'S ON THAT E-VITE.

A LOT OF LEFTOVER JESUS JUICE AT THAT JAMBOREE.

JESUS JUICE, THAT WAS BRILLIANT.YOU KNOW PRIESTS HAD TO BE LIKE,

DAMN, WHY DIDN'T WE THINK OF THAT?

IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF USTHE WHOLE TIME.

I THINK THE JACKSON FAMILY WORKS FOR THE GOVERNMENT.

THAT'S MY NEW THEORY,

I THINK EVERY TIME THE GOVERNMENT NEEDS A DISTRACTION

THEY CALL UP THE JACKSON'S. "YEAH, HELLO JANET,

"WE'RE GONNA NEED YOU TO WHIP OUT A TITTY AT THE SUPERBOWL.

"YEAH. YEAH. AND TELL MICHAEL TO SCHEDULE A SLEEPOVER ASAP,

OPERATION 'BEAT IT' IS IN EFFECT."

BUT LET'S NOT LOSE SIGHTOF THE REAL TRAGEDY HERE

WHICH IS THAT MICHAEL JACKSON'SMUSIC KIND OF SUCKS NOW.

I THINK WE'D ALL BE WILLING TO SACRIFICE A COUPLE KIDS

- FOR ANOTHER BILLY JEAN. - [AUDIENCE GROANS]

HEY, AT THIS POINTI'D BE WILLING TO LOOKTHE OTHER WAY FOR A PYT.

GREATNESS HAS ITS PRICE.

THANKS A LOT GUYS. YOU'VE BEEN GREAT.

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