Worst Places on the Road

Season 2, 04/27/2013 Views: 1,444

The Half Hour comedians do not recommend staying at these places on the road. (1:49)

-The shadiest place I'veever had to stay when I was

on the road was probably,um, the airport.

[music playing]

-Oh, it was a casinogig, "casino" in Montana.

-Some of these clubs are, like,not inside the actual city.

They're on theoutskirts of it, and I'm

staying in a hotelthat's next to a freeway.

-Could this be any moreof a Bates Motel cliche?

They're giving mewarnings about the shower.

I'm already freaked out.

-I stayed at a place that wasa haunted house, apparently.

-If there's ever literalkeys and you're not,

like, you know, in,like, the Hamptons,

that's not a good sign.

-It was very cheap.

It was like $25, $30 a night.

-And the name of the place wasMotel, on an alley with a strip

club and adultbookstore at the end,

and I think I had aglory hole in my room.

-You know, in theback of a Ford Escort.

I was actually adancer at the time,

so it was like awhole different scene.

I miss those days a lot.

I miss you, too, Romero.

-It was my first comedycondo experience,

and I was staying witha guy who was meeting

his girlfriend forthe first time.

Total "Catfish" situation.

-You know, like-- you knowwhen you meet a person that

just reminds you of the autumn?

That's kind of what-- guys,can we move on, please?

-What's always weird is when youstay with a friend's parents.

Oh, I forgot.

I can't act like you'rethe piece of shit

that I know you are.

I have to act likeyou're the little boy

that they thought you are.

-The shadiest placesI ever stay are

oftentimes othercomedians' houses.

[exhales steadily]

It's like a mirror intoyour own existence.

You're like, oh mygod, this is awful.

And this is exactly how I live.

Oh my god, I gottaget my shit together.

-I won't make any herpereferences over breakfast.

I-- I burped a little.

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