Andy Zaltzman - Too Many Pensions

  • Season 3 , Ep 6
  • 08/24/2012
  • Views: 12,105

Andy Zaltzman blames medical scientists for the condition of the global economy. (1:48)

I guess in that respect, I'ma bit like a German vegetarian.

I, uh... I fear the wurst.

Touch me, I'm weird.

But the fact is, things aregetting a bit better.

We got rid of Osama BinLaden,

the tora, bora, lora, nora ashe'd like to think of himself.

But we need someone to blamefor the economic states of

the world and... don't blamethe banks.

Don't blame the politicians.

It all comes down to thefact that we can't afford

pensions anymore.

There are too many old peoplein the world staying not dead

for longer and longer.

So the people... don't blamethe banks,

do not blame thepoliticians, don't blame

the financial markets.

The people to blame aremedical scientists.

[bleep] like Edward Jennerdeveloped vaccinations in the

early 19th century enabledmore and more people to live

to pensionable age beyond whatGod clearly intended for them.

Louis Pasteur, dicking aroundwith milk,

dicking around with my[bleep] tax bill, more like.

William Morton developedanesthesia in the mid-19th

century, died in this verycity at the economically

responsible age of 48...developed anesthesia.

You used to need to have realballs

to have a life-savingoperation.

Now any chancer can do it.

And it goes beyond medicalscience.

John Logie Baird inventedtelevision,

gave old people a reason tocarry on living.

Why would you die when justaround the corner is another

series of Celebrity StockholmSyndrome?

And just wait until yousee the episode in which

Kim Kardashian slowly fallsin love with Donald Rumsfeld

whilst spending a yearchained to a quad bike

in his garden shed.

Man, that is... the chemistrybetween those two is like

Madeleine Albright and YasserArafat all over again.

So, um, it's been a pleasuretalking to you all.

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