Craig Ferguson - Loving America

Craig Ferguson: A Wee Bit o' Revolution Season 1, Ep 0101 03/22/2009 Views: 49,116

Craig's mother loves America a little too much. (1:57)

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WASTALKING IN THAT THING,

AND I'VE BEEN TALKING A LOTRECENTLY ABOUT, YOU KNOW,

"I LOVE AMERICA; I LOVE AMERICA;I LOVE AMERICA," AND I DO.

[bleep] IT; I DO, AND, YOUKNOW, IT'S KIND OF, LIKE,

YOU KNOW WHEN PEOPLE, UM,LIKE, THEY BECOME A CATHOLIC

IN LATER LIFE, SO THEY FEEL THEYHAVE TO BE EXTRA-CATHOLIC TO

CATCH UP ON PEOPLE THAT HAVEJUST BEEN CATHOLIC-ING ALONG,

YOU KNOW?

LIKE, "OH, YES, I HAD THE FISHON THE FRIDAY AND THE POPE AND

THE HOLY FATHER AND THE SMOKEAND THE IRISH ACCENT

AND THE MARCHING."

[laughs]AND THAT'S LIKE ME WITH AMERICA.

EVERYONE ELSE IS LIKE,"HMM, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT

THE FOREIGN POLICY."

I'M LIKE...

[sings Hail to the Chief][cheers and applause]

I DON'T CARE.

AS MUCH AS I LOVE IT, BY THEWAY, IT'S NOTHING COMPARED TO

PEOPLE IN THE OLD COUNTRY.

THEY'RE CRAZY FOR AMERICA.

THEY LOVE IT.

I THOUGHT I WAS BUYING A HOUSEIN CALIFORNIA.

I WASN'T.

I WAS BUYING A VACATIONDESTINATION FOR HALF

OF SCOTLAND.

I HAVE PEOPLE CALLING ME UP.

I DON'T THINK THEY'RE FAMILY.

I DON'T EVEN THINKTHEY'RE SCOTTISH.

THEY'RE LIKE...

[speaking with French accent]"YES, HELLO, IT IS YOUR COUSIN,

PIERRE"YOU KNOW, AS MUCH AS THEY LOVE

SCOTLAND, BY THE WAY--THEPEOPLE IN THE OLD COUNTRY--

IT'S NOT--YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHOHAS IT THE WORST IS MY MOTHER.

MY MOTHER LOVES AMERICA A LITTLETOO MUCH, FRANKLY.

SHE'S KIND OF LIKEAMERICA'S STALKER.

SHE IS.

SHE'S KIND OF GOT PICTURES OFHER AND AMERICA PHOTOSHOPPED

ON HER MYSPACE PAGEAND EVERYTHING.

"THIS IS ME AND AMERICA, MM-HMM.

WE REALLY DON'TKNOW EACH OTHER."

SHE'S NUTS FOR IT.

I MET--WHEN I FIRST PICKED HERUP IN LOS ANGELES,

SHE CAME TO THE AIRPORT.

IT WAS THE FIRST TIME.

I WAS DRIVING HER INTO TOWN,AND SHE'S LIKE, "OH, SON,

THIS IS AMAZING.

I'VE NEVER SEENANYTHING LIKE IT."

[laughs]APPARENTLY, MY MOTHER USED TO BE

ON MONTY PYTHO FOR SOME REASON