Bill Dwyer - Sex Life

  • Season 5, Ep 11
  • 09/09/2001
  • Views: 2,102

Some guys would get upset if their wife asked if it's in yet. (1:40)

HAVE BEEN MARRIED SUCH A LONG

TIME NOW WE PLAY THESE LITTLE

SEXUAL FANTASY GAMES, YOU KNOW?

LIKE WE HAVE THIS ONE WHERE

MY WIFE DRESSES UP LIKE A NURSE,

THEN I DRESS UP LIKE A NURSE,

ALSO.

AND THEN WE DON'T EVEN HAVE SEX,

EITHER.

WE JUST SIT BEHIND THIS HUGE

SEMI-CIRCULAR WOODEN DESK AND

GET ANNOYED WHEN PEOPLE BUZZ US

FOR JUICE.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S A TERRIBLE GAME.

THE HOSE MAKE ME CHAFF.

THE LITTLE WHITE HAT DOESN'T

FIT ME.

REGARDING SEX, I'D LIKE TO REFER

TO MY WIFE AS CIRCUIT CITY,

BECAUSE SHE HAS NO INTEREST

UNTIL JANUARY OF NEXT YEAR.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

PUT NO MONEY DOWN, EITHER.

SO THAT'S A PLUS.

SO SOMETIMES WHEN I'M GIVING IT

TO MY WIFE, 'CAUSE I'M A

ROMANTIC, THAT'S WHAT I DO,

I GIVE IT TO HER, YOU KNOW?

PEOPLE SAY, YOU HAVE SEX?

AHHH...

GIVING IT TO HER.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I'M GIVING IT

TO HER, SOMETIMES...

YOU KNOW, SOME GUYS MIGHT GET

A LITTLE MIFFED IF DURING

LOVE-MAKING, YOU KNOW,

I GET A LITTLE CRAZY...

OHHH, ARGGHH, AEIII...

"ARE YOU HAVING SPASMS?"

OHHH, ARGGHH, AEIII...

YOU KNOW, MAYBE SOME GUYS HAVE

A PROBLEM IF THEIR WOMAN SAYS,

"ARE YOU IN?"

(LAUGHTER)

"NO.

I'M DONE!"

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