Louis C.K. - This Is Nothing

Louis C.K.: Hilarious Season 1, Ep 101 01/09/2011 Views: 128,761

Now that kids have such a high bar of stimulus set for them, Louis C.K. can see that they're not easily amused. (2:52)

I LIKE KIDS.

PARENTS I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT.

MOST PARENTS--LIKE THIS WHOLECOUNTRY, OUR THING IS

THE CHILDREN.

WE HAVE TO DO IT ALL FOR THECHILDREN, AND MEANWHILE, NOBODY

GIVES A SHIT ABOUT HOW THEYRAISE THEIR KIDS.

PEOPLE PUT MINIMAL EFFORTINTO IT.

THEY HAVE THEIR KIDS--THEY'RELIKE CONSUMERS OF THEIR KIDS.

LIKE, THEY WANT TO CALLCUSTOMER SERVICE.

"WHY DOES HE PLAY VIDEOGAMES ALL DAY?

I DON'T UNDERSTANDWHY HE PLAYS"--

MAYBE 'CAUSE YOU BOUGHT HIM A[BLEEP] VIDEO GAME, YOU IDIOT.

THROW IT AWAY.

WHO TOLD YOU THAT WASA GOOD IDEA?

A DEVELOPING MIND--[loud grunting]

[BLEEP] IDIOTS.

MY KIDS DON'T EVENWATCH TELEVISION.

AND WHEN I TELL MOST OTHERPARENTS THAT, YOU KNOW

WHAT THEY SAY?

THEY SAY, THEY GO,"AW, [BLEEP] YOU."

WHY?

"JUST 'CAUSE, [BLEEP] YOU.

[BLEEP] HIPPIE.

WEIRDO.

THEY'RE GONNA GROW UP WEIRDOES,'CAUSE THEY DON'T WATCH JUST

[BLEEP] ANGER AND COLORSSCREAMING IN THEIR FACE."

[screaming]IF YOUR KIDS WATCH TV, HERE'S

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.

JUST, IF YOU THINK THAT'S AREALLY GOOD IDEA TO HAVE THEM

WATCH TV, THE NEXT TIME YOURKID IS WATCHING TELEVISION,

JUST COME UP BEHIND THEM WHENTHEY DON'T KNOW YOU'RE THERE

AND JUST TURN IT OFF WITHOUTANY WARNING.

JUST GO, "PFF."

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS.

THEY GO...

[screaming]DO YOU THINK THAT'S A GOOD SIGN?

DO YOU THINK THAT'S A SIGN THATIT'S HEALTHY FOR THEM,

THAT WHEN IT'STAKEN AWAY THEY GO...

[screaming]BECAUSE YOU'VE CREATED SUCH A

HIGH BAR OF STIMULUS THATNOTHING COMPETES.

A BEAUTIFUL DAY IS [BLEEP]TO A CHILD NOW.

A GORGEOUS PANORAMIC DAY WITHHAWKS CATCHING [BLEEP] MICE AND

FLYING AWAY AND BEARS WITH[BLEEP] FISH IN THEIR TEETH, AND

THE KID'S LIKE,"I WANNA WATCH THE TELEVISION!

THIS IS NOTHING!"THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG

WITH OUR KIDS.

THEY CAN'T JUST STAND AND BE APERSON WITHOUT, "BLAH, BLAH!"

AND THEN THE FOOD--WE FEED THEMFOOD THAT TASTES LIKE INSANITY.

IT'S INSANITY, OUR FOOD.

DO YOU--YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TOGIVE A KID AN APPLE AND THEY GO,

"OH, THANK YOU.

I LOVE APPLES."

KIDS CAN'T EVEN TASTE--APPLESARE LIKE PAPER TO THEM,

BECAUSE WE FILL THEM--WE FORCETHEM TO EAT--PEOPLE FORCE

THEIR KIDS TO EAT FAST FOOD.

I WAS IN THIS HAMBURGER--THISWOMAN IS JUST SHOVING FRENCH

FRIES IN THE--"EAT IT!"THE KID'S LIKE,

"MOM, IT'S SALTY.

IT HURTS.

I CAN'T EAT ANYMORE."

"SHUT UP.

HAVE A SODA."

WE GIVE THEM MSG, SUGAR,AND CAFFEINE.

AND WEIRDLY, THEY REACT TOTHOSE CHEMICALS.

AND SO THEY YELL, "AHH!"AND THEN WE HIT THEM.

WHAT [BLEEP] CHANCE DOES AKID HAVE?