- I CAUGHT HIM PLAYING UNOWITH A WOMAN.
FOR MARK, UNO ISLIKE THIRD BASE.
- NOBODY BETRAYSA GIRLS CLUB SISTER.
WHO'S THE SLUT?
- WHAT DID YOU EXPECTWOULD HAPPEN
WHEN YOU GAVE HIM A FREE PASS?
- I NEVER THOUGHT HE'D USE IT.
HE DOESN'T BELIEVEIN FREE PASSES,
COUPONS,OR GIFT CERTIFICATES.
IT'S RIGHT HERE IN CHAPTER 27OF LILLY'S RULES TO LIVE BY.
- LADIES, DON'T FORGETTO FILL UP
ON BOBBY FLAY'SFIG AND CHEESE CROSTINIS
WHILE THEY'RE STILL HOT.
- HERE'S A THOUGHT.
I KILL THIS BITCHSO MARK CAN GO BACK
TO BEING UNDER MY THUMBWHERE HE BELONGS.
- I COULD GET BANNEDFROM THE MAN CLUB
JUST FOR WHISPERING THIS,
BUT MARK CARES ABOUT YOU.
YOU TWO SHOULD HAVE AN OPENAN HONEST DISCUSSION.
- YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT,TWAYNE.
I NEED TO MAKEMARK MORE JEALOUS.
[cell phone beeping]
HELLO.
- [Croatian accent]HELLO, CASUAL SEX WOMAN.
YOU WANT MAKE BABY?
- STOP CALLING ME.
- CALLIE, THANKS FOR INVITING USOUT TONIGHT WITH YOUR...
UH, FRIENDS.
- HEY, MAN.WE'RE YOUR AMIGOS TOO.
I'M MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY.
I LOVE PEOPLE SO MUCH,I HAD TO CLONE MYSELF.
- IT'S ALL GOOD.
- AREN'T THEY GORGEOUS?
WE MET ON FACEBOOK.
- WHAT'S FACEBOOK?
- WHAT ROCK DID YOU PULLTHIS ONE OUT FROM UNDER?
- WELL, I'VE LIVED IN A DUMPSTERFOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS, SO...
- [laughs]A BAG LADY?
OH, MARK.
- IT'S KIND OF ADORABLE
WATCHING HER CATCH UPTO THE MODERN WORLD.
TODAY SHE GOOGLED GOOGLE.
SO HOW DID YOU TWO CONNECT?
- MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE FIREWORKSGOIN' OFF.
BOOM!
- WAITER!DOUBLE SCOTCH.
- ACTUALLY, MARK AND I DATEDFOR 3 1/2 SEMESTERS IN COLLEGE.
- YOU TWO DATED?
WHERE'S MY SCOTCH?
[romantic saxophone solo]
- OH, MY GOD.
IT CAN'T BE.
- HE'S PLAYING OUR SONG.
- WHO IS THIS?BUBLE?
CONNICK JR.?
- NO, IT'S LITERALLY OUR SONG.
WE WROTE IT TOGETHER.
KIND OF A BIG DEALON COLLEGE RADIO.
- WE USED IT TO WINTHE BALLROOM DANCE CHALLENGE.
- I'M NOT SURE I REMEMBERTHE STEPS, BUT, UH...
LET'S DO THIS.
♪
- OH!
- I'M GOING TO SERIOUSLY LOSEMY MIND.
- UH-OH.
WATCH OUT FOR THIS SPLITINFINITIVES.
- WE CAN HELP YOUWITH THAT GRAMMAR OF YOURS.
- [groans]
I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHTRYAN GOSLING AND HIS CLONE.