Double Date Plus One

  • Season 2 , Ep 212
  • 08/25/2011
  • Views: 12,561

Mark and Jaclyn go on a double date with Callie, Matthew McConaughey and Matthew McConaughey's clone. (2:26)

- I CAUGHT HIM PLAYING UNOWITH A WOMAN.

FOR MARK, UNO ISLIKE THIRD BASE.

- NOBODY BETRAYSA GIRLS CLUB SISTER.

WHO'S THE SLUT?

- WHAT DID YOU EXPECTWOULD HAPPEN

WHEN YOU GAVE HIM A FREE PASS?

- I NEVER THOUGHT HE'D USE IT.

HE DOESN'T BELIEVEIN FREE PASSES,

COUPONS,OR GIFT CERTIFICATES.

IT'S RIGHT HERE IN CHAPTER 27OF LILLY'S RULES TO LIVE BY.

- LADIES, DON'T FORGETTO FILL UP

ON BOBBY FLAY'SFIG AND CHEESE CROSTINIS

WHILE THEY'RE STILL HOT.

- HERE'S A THOUGHT.

I KILL THIS BITCHSO MARK CAN GO BACK

TO BEING UNDER MY THUMBWHERE HE BELONGS.

- I COULD GET BANNEDFROM THE MAN CLUB

JUST FOR WHISPERING THIS,

BUT MARK CARES ABOUT YOU.

YOU TWO SHOULD HAVE AN OPENAN HONEST DISCUSSION.

- YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT,TWAYNE.

I NEED TO MAKEMARK MORE JEALOUS.

[cell phone beeping]

HELLO.

- [Croatian accent]HELLO, CASUAL SEX WOMAN.

YOU WANT MAKE BABY?

- STOP CALLING ME.

- CALLIE, THANKS FOR INVITING USOUT TONIGHT WITH YOUR...

UH, FRIENDS.

- HEY, MAN.WE'RE YOUR AMIGOS TOO.

I'M MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY.

I LOVE PEOPLE SO MUCH,I HAD TO CLONE MYSELF.

- IT'S ALL GOOD.

- AREN'T THEY GORGEOUS?

WE MET ON FACEBOOK.

- WHAT'S FACEBOOK?

- WHAT ROCK DID YOU PULLTHIS ONE OUT FROM UNDER?

- WELL, I'VE LIVED IN A DUMPSTERFOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS, SO...

- [laughs]A BAG LADY?

OH, MARK.

- IT'S KIND OF ADORABLE

WATCHING HER CATCH UPTO THE MODERN WORLD.

TODAY SHE GOOGLED GOOGLE.

SO HOW DID YOU TWO CONNECT?

- MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE FIREWORKSGOIN' OFF.

BOOM!

- WAITER!DOUBLE SCOTCH.

- ACTUALLY, MARK AND I DATEDFOR 3 1/2 SEMESTERS IN COLLEGE.

- YOU TWO DATED?

WHERE'S MY SCOTCH?

[romantic saxophone solo]

- OH, MY GOD.

IT CAN'T BE.

- HE'S PLAYING OUR SONG.

- WHO IS THIS?BUBLE?

CONNICK JR.?

- NO, IT'S LITERALLY OUR SONG.

WE WROTE IT TOGETHER.

KIND OF A BIG DEALON COLLEGE RADIO.

- WE USED IT TO WINTHE BALLROOM DANCE CHALLENGE.

- I'M NOT SURE I REMEMBERTHE STEPS, BUT, UH...

LET'S DO THIS.

- OH!

- I'M GOING TO SERIOUSLY LOSEMY MIND.

- UH-OH.

WATCH OUT FOR THIS SPLITINFINITIVES.

- WE CAN HELP YOUWITH THAT GRAMMAR OF YOURS.

- [groans]

I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHTRYAN GOSLING AND HIS CLONE.

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