Randall's Sponsor

  • Season 1 , Ep 2
  • 03/24/2010
  • Views: 45,167

Fighting a craving for brains, Randall makes a phone call to his sponsor. (1:13)

HEY BUDDY

WANT TO JAM WITH MEON ROCK BAND?

- [snarls]

[lamp shatters]- [groans]

- [chomping]

BRAINS...

BRAINS,THEY ARE DELICIOUS.

- ARE WE JAMMING?

DO I LOOK COOLRIGHT NOW?

- MM-HMM.YOU'RE THE COOLEST, BUDDY.

[gasps]

[touch-tone beeps, line rings]

HELLO, RAY?YEAH, IT'S ME.

MAN, I'M HAVINGA REALLY BAD CRAVING.

WELL, I ROOFIED MY ROOMMATE'SCHOCOLATE MILK.

CHOCOLATE MILK.

YEAH, I KNOW,A GROWN MAN.

I'M REALLY FIXATEDON THE OCCIPITAL LOBE RIGHT NOW.

HOW WOULD I DO IT?

WELL, I HADN'T REALLYTHOUGHT ABOUT IT.

BUT I GUESS I'D STARTWITH AN INCISION

AT THE BASE OF THE SPINE,BYPASSING THE ARTERIES.

THEN I'D DRAINTHE SPINAL FLUID

TO MAKE, LIKE, YOU KNOW,KIND OF A BASE.

ARE--ARE YOU MASTURBATINGTO THIS?

DUDE, YOU ARETHE WORST SPONSOR.

[phone beeps]

- [yawns]

HOW LONG HAVE YOUBEEN WATCHING ME SLEEP?

- THE WHOLE NIGHT.

- OKAY, CLEARLY,YOU WANT TO EAT ME,

AND THAT'S NATURAL.

YOU'RE A ZOMBIE.

- SAVE YOUR HIPPIE MIND GAMESFOR SOMEONE ELSE, DUDE.

- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

BUT I'M HEREWHEN YOU WANT TO TALK.

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