This is cool, becausethis is like
a dream come true for meto do comedy,
you know, for so many people,you know?
I've been listening to "Juicy"a lot to get inspired.
You ever listento Biggie's "Juicy"?
(whoops)It's, like, the greatest songof inspiration ever.
I... It's weird though.It's not the same song
as when I heard itwhen I was, like, 12.
'Cause there's a line in therewhen he goes,
♪ Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
♪ When I was dead broke, man
♪ I couldn't picture this.
That's, like, $300-worthof merchandise.
It's not a lot of money, man.
I've been dead brokemy whole life,
and I've had a Sega Genesis.
I didn't have a Super Nintendo,but I could picture it.
It wasn't like...
But it's fun though, it's good,because it's,
you know, like,if I wasn't doing comedy,
I don't know what I'd be doing,you know?
I don't know what I'd be doing.It wouldn't be good.
I'd try, like, I would tryto get a regular job.
I'd have to, like,lie on my résumé.
You know how humiliatingthat is?
You ever lie so badon your résumé
that you can't believeyou didn't get
You want to go backto Foot Locker.
Like, really, Foot Locker?
Who the (bleep) do you hire
that has eight-yearmayoral experience?
And a degree in physics?
Who is this amazing
I don't have a degree.I didn't even go to college.
And I'm glad I didn'tbecause I do this.
So I don't have to goto college for this.
And all my friends that wentto college are in crazy debt.
Like, real debt.
I got a friendthat's $80,000 in debt
with an English degree.
I learned English for free.
It was the first thingI learned.
It wasthe first thing I learned.
And I talkto this dude every day.
I understandeverything he's saying.
He doesn't know a special kindof English.
He doesn't talklike the Game of Thrones.
It's just regular English.
And you knowwhat he does for a living?
He teaches English.
'Cause that's the only thing youcan do with an English degree.
It's a (bleep) pyramid scheme.