Kyle Grooms - They Hate Us

  • Season 11, Ep 6
  • 01/25/2007
  • Views: 4,506

Kyle Grooms tells President Bush who the world really hates. (2:44)

AND I'VE BEEN NOTICING ONE THING, AMERICA'S GETTING

MORE AND MORE CULTURALLY DIVERSE EVERYDAY.

WE TURNING INTO A BIG ASS BAGOF SKITTLES, YOU KNOW.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL, MAN. WE TRYING TO PARTY TOGETHER.

WE TRYING,WE TRYING TO GET ALONG.WE GOOD PEOPLE.

THAT'S WHY I HATEWHEN THE PRESIDENT SAYS THE WORLD HATE US.

EVERY TIME I SEE HIM ON TV, "THE WORLD HATES US

AND OUR FREEDOM." I'M LIKE. "US?IT'S YOU... [UNINTELLIGIBLE]."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

YES!

I'M LIKE "THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

"THAT'S NOT MY PICTURETHEY BURNING OVER THERE,THAT'S YOUR PICTURE.

THEY MESSING WITH ME TO GET TO YOU."

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, WE TRYING TO GET ALONG, MAN.

'CAUSE I GREW UP IN A MIXED NEIGHBORHOOD, MAN. I HAD ALL KINDS OF FRIENDS:

ASIANS, PUERTO RICANS. I'D GO TO MY WHITE FRIEND'S HOUSE AND DRINK TANG.

- IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NO, I HAD TO GET TANG. I WAS TIRED OF THAT CITY PUNCH.

I WAS TIRED OF IT, RIGHT? I HAD ALL KINDS OF FRIENDS.

I REMEMBER WHITE KIDS' PARENTS USED TO MAKE SOME GOOD COOKIES.

THEY USED TO COME TO SCHOOL WITH THESE COOKIES.

I'D BE LIKE,"MAN, WHAT YOUR PARENTS,

KEEBLER ELVES OR SOMETHING, THESE IS DELICIOUS.

WHAT Y'ALL LIVE IN, A HOLLOW TREE OR SOMETHING?"

'CAUSE MY MOTHER, SHE MADE SWEET POTATO PIE AND SHE BOUGHT COOKIES.

AND THEY WERE NEVER THE GOOD COOKIES.

IT WAS ALWAYS THE PACK OF A THOUSAND THAT SAID, "COOKIES."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THEY COST 99 CENT AND LAST FOREVER.

I STILL GOT SOME AT HOME RIGHT NOW.

IF Y'ALL WANT 'EM, I'LL SEND 'EM TO YOU, MAN.

THAT'S WHY I LIKE WHEN I SEE US GETTING ALONG.

THAT'S WHAT MOVED ME ABOUT 9/11. 9/11 WAS BEAUTIFUL

BECAUSE THE ONLY BEAUTIFUL PART WAS WE ALL BECAME AMERICANS.

THAT WAS COOL, 9/11, WE WERE ALL AMERICANS. BUT THEN KATRINA HIT.

WE WERE BACK TO [BLEEP] AND CRACKERS.

I'M LIKE WHAT? LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO "I AM AN AMERICAN"?

REMEMBER SEPTEMBER 15th,IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

THEY PUT COMMERCIALSON TV WHERE THEY SHOWED

A BLACK PERSON AND HE'D BE LIKE,[DEEP VOICE] "I AM AN AMERICAN."

THEN THEY WOULD SHOW A WHITE PERSON. THEY'D BE LIKE

[HIGH VOICE] "I AM AN AMERICAN."

THEN THE IMMIGRANT WOULD COME OUT AND BE LIKE,

[FOREIGN ACCENT] "I AM FROM AMERICAN."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND WE'D LOOK AT HIM LIKE-- NNN...NAH.

YOU BETTER SHOW ME A BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

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