BUT I SHOULDN'T GET DOWN ON,
YOU KNOW, WHAT SHE'S SUCCESSFUL
THAT'S GREAT.
MY PARENTS ARE SUPPER
SUCCESSFUL.
MY MOM'S A DOCTOR.
MY DAD'S A DOCTOR.
MY SISTER'S A DOCTOR.
HER HUSBAND'S A DOCTOR.
OH, GUESS I DIDN'T FINISH
COLLEGE?
OH.
NAW, ACTUALLY I FINISHED,
BUT I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
THEY'RE REALLY PROUD OF ME.
I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG, BUT I HAVE
DONE A LOT OF TEMP WORK.
(LAUGHTER)
THEN, I SUPPORT THE LADIES.
I'M A LADIEST.
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES IT'S
HARD WHEN YOU WORK FOR LIKE A
LADY BOSS.
LIKE ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE TRIES
TO ACT LIKE SHE'S YOUR FRIEND.
CALLS YOU HONEY, AND SWEETHEART
AND "GIRLFRIEND, HEEEYYYYY.
I WANT YOU TO TAKE A BREAK.
TAKE A WALK.
GET ME A LATTE THAT'S 2% MILK.
YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW.
(LAUGHTER)
I'M HAVING A PARTY AT MY HOUSE
THIS WEEKEND AND I REALLY WANT
YOU TO COME.
AND MEET SOME REALLY CUTE,
REALLY AVAILABLE MEN AT THE
DOOR.
PARK THEIR CARS, TAKE THEIR
COATS, AND SPEAK ONLY WHEN
SPOKEN TO.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I SEE US
AS EQUALS, AS PARTNERS.
EVEN THOUGH I EARN, WHAT IS IT,
850% MORE THEN YOU DO.
GET THAT TO ME IN A MEMO, CUZ
I'VE GOT TO GO DRIVE AIMLESSLY
AROUND LOS ANGELES LOOKING FOR
CAVES AND TUNNELS FROM WHERE I
CAN GO CALL YOU FROM MY CELL
PHONE."
(LAUGHTER)
SOMETIMES I GET KIND OF A BAD