BUT I SHOULDN'T GET DOWN ON,

YOU KNOW, WHAT SHE'S SUCCESSFUL

THAT'S GREAT.

MY PARENTS ARE SUPPER

SUCCESSFUL.

MY MOM'S A DOCTOR.

MY DAD'S A DOCTOR.

MY SISTER'S A DOCTOR.

HER HUSBAND'S A DOCTOR.

OH, GUESS I DIDN'T FINISH

COLLEGE?

OH.

NAW, ACTUALLY I FINISHED,

BUT I DIDN'T MEAN IT.

THEY'RE REALLY PROUD OF ME.

I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG, BUT I HAVE

DONE A LOT OF TEMP WORK.

(LAUGHTER)

THEN, I SUPPORT THE LADIES.

I'M A LADIEST.

BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES IT'S

HARD WHEN YOU WORK FOR LIKE A

LADY BOSS.

LIKE ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE TRIES

TO ACT LIKE SHE'S YOUR FRIEND.

CALLS YOU HONEY, AND SWEETHEART

AND "GIRLFRIEND, HEEEYYYYY.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE A BREAK.

TAKE A WALK.

GET ME A LATTE THAT'S 2% MILK.

YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M HAVING A PARTY AT MY HOUSE

THIS WEEKEND AND I REALLY WANT

YOU TO COME.

AND MEET SOME REALLY CUTE,

REALLY AVAILABLE MEN AT THE

DOOR.

PARK THEIR CARS, TAKE THEIR

COATS, AND SPEAK ONLY WHEN

SPOKEN TO.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I SEE US

AS EQUALS, AS PARTNERS.

EVEN THOUGH I EARN, WHAT IS IT,

850% MORE THEN YOU DO.

GET THAT TO ME IN A MEMO, CUZ

I'VE GOT TO GO DRIVE AIMLESSLY

AROUND LOS ANGELES LOOKING FOR

CAVES AND TUNNELS FROM WHERE I

CAN GO CALL YOU FROM MY CELL

PHONE."

(LAUGHTER)

SOMETIMES I GET KIND OF A BAD