GTFO ITT Tech

Tuesday, September 6, 2016 09/06/2016 Views: 260

As the for-profit university ITT Tech closes its doors, Kyle Kinane, Ron Funches and Tiffany Haddish create commercials for other lesser-known for-profit colleges. (2:15)

I told youthe famous for-profit university

ITT Tech is closing its doors

and I asked you to createa commercial

for even a less reputableuniversity.

Let's see whatyou came up up with.

Ron Funches,we'll start with you.

Going to college is just likethrowing your money away.

I didn't go to collegeand I'm as rich as (bleep),

so why don't you justgive your money to me

and the Ron FunchesComedy College?

I'll teach you how to be funny.Things like setup.

You won't believewhat happened to me today.

Punch lines.

It was hilarious.

Crowd work.

Where are you from?

Oh, I've never been there.

I don't knowanything about that.

And buying drugs.

Thank you.

At the Ron FunchesComedy College we put the fun...

in college.

(cheering, applause)

What kind of drugs are those?

What kind...

Tiffany Haddish.

Hi, I'm Tiffany

from WatersonTyping and Booty College.

Well, more like a roomwith a desk

and a computer from 1987.

My auntie had a government job.Then she quit,

went to Waterson and learnedto type 30 words per hour.

And now she's a stripper!

Waterson. Aw, yeah.

Waterson, learn to type slow

and make your booty go, go, go.

Waterson, baby!

Yeah!

Make it a booty call. Yeah!

I-I feel like a lotof sign-ups for these colleges

are already happening now,like, as the show is airing.

Finally, Kyle Kinane.

Hey, is your pet sick?

Do you want to the avoidcostly veterinarian bills?

Then come on downto the Internet and get a degree

from Kyle's OnlineDo-It-Yourself Animal Surgery.

Disclaimer: Kyle's Online AnimalSurgery only teaches you

how to cut open regular petslike dogs and cats and (bleep),

not recommended for practiceon fish, birds, snakes,

weird lizards,other metalhead pets.

One guy called about a ferret.Not sure about that one.

Ponies-- what a mess.

Hamsters-- you can justget new hamsters, guys.

Monkeys-- those arekind of like people

and that's a slippery slope.

Remember, I am not a doctor.

But neither are you.