Steve Byrne - Mixed Backgrounds

Steve Byrne: The Byrne Identity Season 1, Ep 0101 07/26/2010 Views: 17,488

If you don't believe that Barack Obama is half-white, just YouTube him dancing on "Ellen." (1:48)

>> WELL, IT IS AN EXCITING TIME

IN OUR COUNTRY.

WE GOT OUR FIRST BLACK

PRESIDENT, BARACK OBAMA.

THAT'S VERY EXCITING, RIGHT?

[cheers and applause]

HERE IS THE THING NOBODY EVER

MENTIONS: HE IS ALSO HALF WHITE.

HE IS.

AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE BARACK

OBAMA'S HALF WHITE, THIS IS ALL

YOU HAVE TO DO:

YOUTUBE HIM DANCING ON ELLEN.

REMEMBER THAT?

[cheers and applause]

I'M LIKE, "ARE YOU DOING THE

BAT WATUSI LIKE ADAM WEST?

WHAT ARE THOSE DANCE MOVES?

THEY'RE HORRENDOUS.

STOP."

TIGER WOODS, GREAT BLACK GOLFER,

ALSO HALF ASIAN.

NOBODY EVER SAYS HE'S AN ASIAN

GOLFER.

HERE'S WHAT I KNOW COMING FROM

A MIXED BACKGROUND MYSELF.

BARACK OBAMA--HALF BLACK,

HALF WHITE--YOU CAN BE

A BLACK PRESIDENT.

TIGER WOODS--HALF BLACK,

HALF ASIAN--YOU'RE GOING TO BE

A BLACK GOLFER.

STEVE BYRNE: GOOK.

I HAVE BEEN CALLED "GOOK,"

"CHINK," "PAN FACE," "SLOPE,"

"SHORT ROUND," "DATA,"

"I KILLED YOUR DAD IN VIETNAM."

I'VE HEARD ALL THOSE THINGS,

OKAY?

MY LAST NAME IS BYRNE.

I'VE NEVER BEEN CALLED IRISH

IN MY LIFE.

I WAS IN DUBLIN ON ST. PATRICK'S

DAY GOING AROUND, "HEY, KISS ME.

I'M IRISH."

"NO, YOU'RE NOT."

"WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO?"

WHEN YOU'RE MIXED, WE GOTTA CALL

YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT DO WE CALL YOU?

HERE'S WHAT WE CALL YOU.

WHATEVER DILUTES THE WATER.

WHATEVER KIND OF MESSES UP

THE WHITEY, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.

IT'S AS EASY AS THAT.

I'VE BEEN CALLED ALL THOSE

THINGS.

"I KILLED YOUR DAD IN VIETNAM."

THAT'S BRUTAL.

I'LL NEVER FORGET WHEN I FOUND

OUT I WAS ASIAN.

I WAS IN FOURTH GRADE.

I WAS IN FOURTH GRADE ON A

PLAYGROUND, SOME KID COMES UP

TO ME, "HEY, STEVE,

YOU'RE A CHINK."

"ALL RIGHT, COOL.

THANKS, MAN."