I grew up, I grew up in, inIreland.
In 1981, Ireland was... yeah,hold your fire there, everyone.
[LAUGHTER AND CHEERS]
Someone's about to be prettysassy about Ireland.
It is an, an interestingobservation that here
in particular, NewYork City, people,
when they find out you'reIrish,
love to come up and theylove to do their hilarious
impersonation ofthis accent to me.
Please don't do that.
'Cause it's always mildlyoffensive, borderline racist.
"Oh, you're Irish? Be-jesus!
"Dere's a bomb in mepotato to be sure!"
You've no idea howmono-cultural
the Ireland that Igrew up in was.
In 1982, Ireland was 96%white Catholic.
That is a nightmare.
It was the only country inthe world where parsley was
regarded as a spice...
where someone would take amouthful of vegetable soup
and be like, "whoa,no, no, no, no.
"That is burning, send thatback.
"A foreigner has made that."
This'll give you an idea ofhow mono-cultural it was.
We knew of one Protestant wholived on our road and she was
called The Protestant.
And she lived in a house calledThe Protestant's House.
And she had a gooseberry bushin her front garden.
'Course she did, Protestant!
But people were coming homefrom school,
they used to pick thegooseberries and throw them
at her window and go, "youProtestant!" and run off.
And one day The Protestantcaught one of my friends.
I think she must have been onthe roof and she flew down.
"[screeches] Got his heart!"
And my mother found out andmy mother was furious.
And I was like, "Mom, it'sfine, she's Protestant!"
And Mom said, "David,I'm Protestant.
"We're pretty much aProtestant family."
"No! Beelzebub!"