Jon Huck - Cocaine and Depression

Season 4, Ep 0403 10/30/2009 Views: 1,174

Jon Huck should stop taking Ecstasy. (1:56)

Went to my doctor.

Routine checkup.

He calls me.Turns out I have a rare disease

known as chronic doll hair.

I, uh...

I recently lost some weight.

Lost a couple pounds.

I had to.

Uh, I was getting big.

I was getting, uh, so big,

my friends could hear me breathethrough a text message.

Like, "Hey, what are you doing?"

(grunting)Never mind.

Go back to eating mayonnaise.You're fine.

But I lost the weight quickly.

And, uh, 'cause I'ma good person, I want to help

other people that might wantto try to lose weight.

I'm putting out a diet book.

And it's goingto come out next week.

You can buy it at any bookstore.

The book is titled Cocaine and Depression:

How to Cry Yourself Thin.

If you get it when itfirst comes out,

it comes with an ex-girlfriendand an eight ball starter kit.

So it's a pretty good deal.

Pretty good deal.

I am kidding, of course.I-I make a lot of cocaine jokes,

because I used to do a lotof cocaine this morning.

And, um... I'm just sweatyand confused.

I really don't...

34 years old. I, uh...

I think, as a 34-year-old man,

it is about time thatI stopped taking Ecstasy.

There isnothing creepier than, like,

a grown-up with a full beard,

a Mot rhead T-shirtand a jean jacket like...

Is that a lollipop?Can I have some of that?

Dude, is thata jacket made of pants?

You want toget out of here, old man?

Where are you going?

This is a Van Halenback patch, come back.