Bill Burr - The Hitler Family Name

Burr, Fox, Fulchiron, Bjorgen, Lenox, Rontowski, Johnagin Season 1, Ep 5 08/10/2006 Views: 36,987

Did Hitler not have any relatives? (2:04)

Watching the History Channeltoday, right?

They have this whole, like,three-hour special

on Adolf Hitler, you know?

Here's a question for you:

How come you never runinto anybody

with the last name Hitler?

You ever notice that?

That guy didn't haveany relatives?

You know, he didn't have,like, a cousin?

Like, Ed.

You know, Ed Hitler--he's a plumber, right?

He's a ( bleep ).

Shows up to work on time.

You're a little late,he covers for you.

You know he had relatives.

They all had to changetheir last names.

I'm fascinated with that levelof evil, right?

Like, you're so evil,they have to retire your name.

Like, that's it, it's over,shut it down.

( laughter )

They just take your name outof that baby book list of names.

( squeaks ) Just erase it.

Think about it.

For the rest of time,

no one's gonna havea beautiful baby and be, like,

"You want to call him Adolf?

Is everybody... everybody coolwith that?"

( laughter, applause and cheering )

Can you imagine...?

Oh, thank you.

Can you...

Can you imagine being that muchof a ( bleep ), though?

Like, whatever your name is,the day you die--

"Steve-- that's it,no more Steves.

You see that, dude?"

There's only a few namesin history like that, right?

Like, nobody has a friendnamed Attila, right?

Anybody hanging outwith their buddy Judas tonight?

You're not,and that's a cool name.

You set up one messiah to die,that's it, it's over.

They're having, like,the retirement ceremony.

They're bringing your jerseyup to the rafters.

You're standing baselinewith a bunch of other psychos

getting high fives and stuff.

It's a weird grading system,though.

You know what I mean?

'Cause look at a guylike Jeffrey Dahmer, man.

That guy murdered and ateover, like, 30 people.

People are still callingtheir babies Jeffrey.

He must've been pissed.

It's, like, "Dude,how many people do I got to eat

"to get a little ( bleep )damn respect around here?

"Anybody can kill 'em,I'm eating 'em.

"Ooh, you stabbed 'em.Fire up the grill."

Taking thisto a whole nother level.