Anthony Jeselnik - Jokes About Death

Anthony Jeselnik: Caligula Season 1, Ep 1 01/13/2013 Views: 33,993

Anthony Jeselnik explains why he loves jokes about death and then recounts the story of an epic game of hide-and-seek. (2:24)

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When I was a kid

my friends and Igot arrested

for vandalizinga graveyard.

$10,000 in damages.

But we had a great lawyer

who knocked it downto criminal trespassing

and necrophilia.

[ Laughter ]

I make a lot of jokesabout death.

Because it's hilarious.

[ Laughter ]

My whole family's like that,kind of, you know?

In fact,well before I was even born,

my great-grandmotherthrew herself in front of a bus.

Police tried to sayshe was committing suicide,

but the family knewthat she was just

trying to stop civil rights.

[ Laughter and applause ]

Yesterday I accidentallyhit a little kid with my car.

It wasn't serious, you know?

Nobody saw me.

[ Laughter ]

And people get weirdwhen kids die.

[ Laughter ]

No, that's a fact.That's a fact.

Like, about a month ago,

some kids in my neighborhoodwere playing hide-and-go-seek,

and one of them ended upin an abandoned refrigerator.

It's all anybodytalked about for weeks.

I said, "Who cares?

How many kids you knowget to die a winner?"

[ Laughter and applause ]

I assume you guys all knew whoyou were coming to see tonight.

But if you didn't,you sure as [bleep] know now.

[ Laughter ]