Good to see you, guys.
Let me tell you about who I am.
I have a girlfriend.She's real.
And uh, she's Jewish.Is anybody here Jewish?
Get out!No, I'm kidding.
But I was raised Pentecostal.
Do you know what Pentecostal is?Do you know what that is?
They speak in tongues at church.They speak in another languageat church.
It's not a languageyou recognize.
It's not like,"yo, soy bien, Christo."
It's not like that.
It's not a littleLatin flavor, okay?
What it is, is they do-- okay,the Holy Ghost, which is likea friendly ghost like Casper.
Enters their bodyand then they do this.
This is really what wouldhappen at my church.
They would go.
( TALKING IN TONGUES )
And they think thatGod likes that.
That God's like, "Yeah, makethem noises I like!
"Make God's dancing noises.
"I'm God and I love randomcollections of gibberish."
So, you know, I wanted to knowwhy my church thought thatthey had to do this.
So I looked it up in the Bible,and in the Bible...
it's really one paragraphabout the day of Pentecost,they call it...
where all these disciplesprayed, the Holy Ghost made themspeak in tongues.
My church based their entirereligion off of that oneparagraph.
So to me, my church are like,you know, they're like ComiCongeeks of religion.
Like, if Jesus came back andneeded a panel at the San DiegoComiCon...
my church would be in theaudience like--
Remember in Act, Chapter 2,Verse 1...
when you used your powersto change the language centersof the dis--
Isn't that the correct wayto worship God?
And Jesus would be lookingat Joss Whedon like...
"Can you believe these[BLEEP]ing assholes?
"That I have to-- these are myfans that I have to deal with?
"I didn't write that part? Ididn't write--"
Who wrote that part?Who wrote that? Luke?
I think Luke wrote that?I--
You know, I feel like you'refixating on one partof the whole saga.
I'm here to promotethe Second Coming.
Would you still go on if youcracked your two front teeth?