Jeff Cesario - Women These Days

  • Season 9, Ep 8
  • 03/24/2005
  • Views: 4,093

Jeff's wife will fire up the dishwasher with one spoon in it. (1:17)

MY WIFE'S YOUNGER THAN ME.

SHE'S LIKE-- 30ISH.

THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER GENERATION,

YOU KNOW.

WOMEN THAT AGE AND YOUNGER,

THEY GREW UP WITH TECHNOLOGY,

ALL KINDS OF TECHNOLOGY.

HERE'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY

GUYS, IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR

A WOMAN TO MARRY WHO'S GONNA

COOK AND SEW AND MEND AND CLEAN

AND ALL OF THAT--

[LAUGHTER]

EXACTLY.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU BETTER BE PREPARED TO MARRY

AN AMISH CHICK AND LIVE LIKE

70 MILES FROM THE NEAREST

TELEGRAPH OFFICE.

'CAUSE IT AIN'T HAPPENING.

MY WIFE WILL FIRE UP THE

DISHWASHER WITH ONE SPOON IN IT.

SHE DOESN'T CARE.

[LAUGHTER]

IF A DISH NEEDS TO BE WASHED

BY HAND IN OUR HOUSE, EITHER

I WASH IT, OR IT SITS IN THE

SINK UNTIL IT DISINTEGRATES

FROM THE RAVAGES OF TIME.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

SHE'S NOT QUITE THAT BAD.

BUT SHE HATES IT.

SHE HAD TO WASH SOMETHING

BY HAND THE OTHER DAY.

SHE WAS LIKE, "GARRGH, GAAARGH."

IT'S LIKE A RETARDED PIRATE.

"RARAGRGH.

GARRGH.

DARGH."

TWENTY MINUTES SHE FINALLY

LOOKS UP AT ME.

SHE GOES, "YOU KNOW SOMETHING,

I NEED A WIFE.

YOUR WIFE NEEDS A WIFE."

I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND I SAID,

"OKAY."

[LAUGHTER]

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