Apple's Disappointing New iPhone 7 Feature

Wednesday, September 7, 2016 09/07/2016 Views: 395

After discovering that the iPhone 7 will eliminate the headphone jack despite the petition against it, James Davis starts a protest of his own. (1:51)

Earlier today,Apple fans were blindsided

by a terrible announcement.

The new iPhone 7 won't havetraditional headphone jacks!

Goddamn it!

What the (bleep)!

Goddamn it!

(Bleep) on a stick.

-What the (bleep)!-Yeah! -Yeah!

-(cheers and applause)-(bleep)

-That's one of the old ones.-Okay. -RAJSKUB: Is it okay?

Oh, my God, is it okay?

It's fine. It's fine.It's totally fine.

-It's okay.-It's all right.

Look, you got the insurance.You're good.

-Chris, what are you doing?-This confirmed everyone's

worst fearsthat the iPhone would eliminate

that tight sweet headphone holeand replace it

with new wireless air podsthat you definitely won't lose

in the cushions of your couch.

They are, to be fair,including a dongle

that can adaptto the old headphones,

but who wantsto ruin their slim new phone

with some big fat dongle

that flaps around in the windlike an asshole? Not me.

I already got one of those.

This new development comes in...-(laughter)

Thank you.

This new development comesin spite of a petition

that 300,000 irateiPhone users signed

to stop Applefrom killing the headphone jack.

Here's a thought about this.

Um, could just not buy it.

-Uh... you don't have to.-(laughter)

-(applause and cheering)-Not an option, Chris.

You're right. On the other hand,you totally have to buy it.

Yeah. I will.

Uh, comedians,what's another petition

fans might sign against Apple?James.

I'm not a Trump fan,but I do believe that we need

to make cell phones great again.


-(cheers and applause)-HARDWICK: All right.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

-HARDWICK: Yeah.-There should be a petition

to ban anybody with a crackedscreen from holding a baby.


You had one job!

You hadone job!

I have to tell you,my son almost drowned,

but I stuck him in rice after.

-(Goldberg clucks tongue)-(laughter)


No problem.