Shooting an Office Porno

Trainees’ Day Season 7, Ep 1 01/10/2017 Views: 1,321

The guys anxiously get ready for some unexpected on-camera work. (3:18)

Watch Full Episode

Guys, I've got salami wrappedcombos.

I like 'em, but will they?

- Yeah, they're gonna lovethose. That's protein.

That's what they want.

- Thanks--- They don't need Ders'

creamy clam chowder in theirface.

- Uh, it's pronounced clamchow-ders, all right?

And these [bleep]sters needstamina, all right?

This is all Michael Phelps atein Beijing, okay?

And I think we all know whathappened in Beijing.

Eight golds.Seven world records, guys.

Beijing, come on.

- Yeah, we're kind of TeamLochte.

- Jyyyeah.

- Listen, guys, a bit of badnews.

The male actors actuallycanceled on us.

- Damn it.Are they okay?

- They're fine, and so are thefemale actresses.

So this is what's gonna go down.

They saw your guys' photographs,and they want to know

if you guys want to get it in.

- Yes.- All right, great.

So you guys get ready.We'll go grab your costars.

- Whoo!- Hang tight.

- Oh, my God.- Oh, no.

- What? Dudes.- Oh, my God.

This is happening.- Here we go.

Wait, wait, wait, okay, let'sthink about this, though, guys.

We're doing--we're doing pornonow.

Like, my face--I don't want toshow my face,

'cause I still want to run forcity council in 2016.

- Okay, well, first off, it's2017, so...

- You know what?- It's 2017?

- Cover your ugly, dumb face,'cause my face,

it's what shouldbe front and center, okay?

I say we use my face and also mydick.

- Okay.- Okay, and we'll just blur out

my midsection.- Yeah.

- And I kind of want to coverit, just if we can pixilate it

or blur it out or whatever.

- But the big thing is is thatwe are all going to be nude,

and my penis, I don't know ifit's adequate enough.

Where is the penis pump?

Where--yes, okay.- It's right over there.

- Oh, oh, Ders.- What?

- I'm gonna need your help.- Okay, what do you need, man?

What do you need?

- I need a little help shavingmy butthole.

- Absolutely not.

- Shave my butthole, Ders.- No. Stop it.

If anything, I'm gonna shave mybutthole,

and I'm gonna eat chowder so Ican have an explosive O.

- Help him.- Look, I have got a thick,

thick mane down there, and myfamily will be embarrassed

by my porno if I don't have aslick butthole.

Please.- Okay.

- You're a swimmer.I know you shave other men's

buttholes often.

Please.- Fine.

I'm only doing this because I'mgood at it, okay?

I trim my chowder;I'll shave your hole.

Come on.- Come on, you little prick.

- Thank you so much for doingthis.

- Oh, my God. I'm right--I'mback here now, okay?

- Okay.- Holy--Jesus.

- Oh, my God.- All right.

- Is it bad?- Yeah.

Dude, it looks like someoneCGI'd butthole hair back here.

- Ah, yeah, it's been a whilesince I've maintained.

- Here we go.

Right side's down.Go ahead and give it a feel.

I put it at a two.

I can take it down to a one.It's gonna be prickly, though.

- Let's go one.- Okay.

- Yep.- Your funeral.

- Oh, welcome to our--

- Oh, hey.Chow-ders is almost...

- Yeah, hey, my butthole'salmost ready too.

Whoa.

- What the hell is going on inhere?

- Alice, where do you--it's Saturday.

Why are you here

- I'm teaching a yoga class,Anders.

It's my side hustle.

- Cool.- Yeah, we got those too.

[penis pump squeaking]

- Okay, what the hell is thatnoise?

- It's for my sleep apnea.

I snore a lot, and then thiskind of just...

[snoring]

- You know what?When you guys started here

seven years ago, this was allkind of cute,

but you know what?

You're old as [bleep] now.

- We're basically in our 20smore or less still.

- Yeah.- Okay, you know what?

You're suspended for a weekwithout pay.

Now, get the hell out of here.

- Okay, I think that wasslightly harsh

for just shaving a butthole andstaging a porno in our cubicle.

Guys?

- This thing works.