Greg Giraldo - Not That Hispanic

  • Season 3 , Ep 10
  • 08/08/2000
  • Views: 11,039

Greg Giraldo looks so white he could almost pass for "normal." (2:19)

HE CAME HERE FROM COLOMBIA.

YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOESFOR A JOB?

HE TRANSLATES FOR DEFENDANTSIN THE CRIMINAL COURTS,

FOR DEFENDANTSTHAT DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH.

BUT HE HATESALL THE DEFENDANTS.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT KINDOF TRANSLATING HE'S DOING.

[speaking Spanish]

HE SAYS HE DID IT.

MY FATHER'S ALWAYS MADABOUT SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW WHAT HE HATES?

HE HATES THAT TACO BELL DOG.

EVERY TIME IT COMES ON,HE FREAKS OUT.

I'M JUST GLAD THE LITTLE GUYIS GETTING WORK.

THERE HASN'T BEEN A MEXICANACTOR GETTING THAT MUCH TV TIME

SINCE ERIK ESTRADALANDED ON CHIPS.

HE SAYS IT MAKES IT SEEM

LIKE ALL MEXICANS WANT TO DOIS GO TO TACO BELL.

WHAT DOES HE WANTTHE DOG TO SAY?

"YO QUERO TACO BELL.

"BUT THAT'S ONLY ONE OF THE MANYINTERESTS THAT I HAVE.

I ALSO ENJOY BOWLING,AND FROZEN YOGURT IS VERY GOOD."

HE LIKES TO SEEA WELL-ROUNDED CHIHUAHUA.

I DON'T SENSEA LOT OF THE PREJUDICE

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,I'M SO WHITE.

MOST PEOPLE FIND OUTTHAT I'M HISPANIC,

THEY REACT THE SAME WAY,

LIKE, "WOW, MAN,YOU DON'T SEEM HISPANIC."

THEY SAY IT LIKEIT'S AN ENORMOUS COMPLIMENT.

"YOU DON'T SEEM HISPANIC.

"SERIOUSLY, YOU LOOK GOOD.NICE WORK.

YOU COULD ALMOST PASSFOR NORMAL; I LIKE IT."

I GOT CLOSE TO GETTING A JOBHOSTING A NATURE SHOW ON PBS,

AND I DIDN'T GET IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY TOLD ME?

THEY DECIDED THEY WERE LOOKINGFOR SOMEONE ETHNIC.

I TOLD THEM,"ACTUALLY, I'M HISPANIC."

THEY SAID, "WELL,YOU'RE NOT HISPANIC ENOUGH."

NOT HISPANIC ENOUGHTO HOST THE NATURE SHOW ON PBS.

WHAT WERE THEY LOOKING FOR?

[mimicking Mexican accent]OKAY, CHECK IT OUT.THERE'S A TIGER, MAN.

JULIO, MANOLO, LOOKA HERE.

LOOKA WHAT HE DOIN', MAN.

[speaking Spanish]

AND YOU STILL SEE PREJUDICE,BUT IT'S SUBTLE.

I WAS READING THIS ARTICLEIN THE PAPER THE OTHER DAY

ABOUT A SMALL TOWN IN TEXAS,

AND THEY DESCRIBED THE TOWN ASBEING "OVERWHELMINGLY HISPANIC."

OVERWHELMINGLY.

WHY DON'T THEY JUST SAY,"IT'S CRAWLING WITH THEM"?

OVERWHELMING SOUNDS LIKEYOU'RE LOSING A WAR, YOU KNOW?

MAYDAY, MAYDAY, BE ADVISED WEARE OVERWHELMED WITH HISPANICS.

THESE GREASY LITTLE [bleep]ARE IN MY PERIMETER.

BE ADVISED.

I COULD SEEMY PROPERTY VALUE DROPPING

THREE CLICKSNORTH BY NORTHWEST.

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