I keep mine righthere in my bosom.
You call it bosomwhen you're old.
Let me talk to youabout texting.
Texting, I think, was inventedfor men by men, which I think is
hilarious, 'cause ten years ago,you couldn't get a man to take
a fucking typing classto save his life.
Why I'm takingfucking typing class?
Oh, but you can get your fuckingbig football mechanic fingers to
text all goddamn dayand night, 'can't you?
All fucking day and night,you can text, text, text.
You know why, ladies?
'Cause men want tocommunicate with you,
but they don't want tofucking talk to you.
If a man can get you out yourhouse, across town and in his
bed and never hear your fuckingvoice, that is a fucking
Christmas present everyday for a fucking man.
See, look at thesemotherfuckers.
Ain't that a bitch?
Now, I'm gonnatell you--
Here's the real test.
Motherfucking texting back andforth, texting back and forth.
Texting the motherfuckerback and say, "Call me."
You be waitingfor five hours
for that motherfuckingphone call.
Oh, I dropped the phone.
Oh, I hurt my thumb.
Police was behind me.
My battery died.