I find myself watching
the gang membersappreciate nature
more than I'm appreciatingthe nature.
They graffitied the waterfall,which sucks.
And it's notnice graffiti either,
because there's good graffitiand then there's bad graffiti.
Like, it's not sometasteful mural that's been done
to remember oneof their fallen homeboys
that died of Lyme disease.
Airbrushed, "R.I.P. Carlos.There's no ticks in heaven."
Just says, "Chucho."
So it just sort of proves
that anytimeyou take a gang member
out of their elementand you put them anywhere,
it's automaticallygoing to be funny.
Cholos in space.Hilarious.
"Hey, Houston.You got a problem, bro."
Which leads meto my favorite character
that I've met of all time.
Cholo soccer dad.
They're everywhere.I didn't--I had no idea.
So we're down in Los Angeles,and we take my son
to his first practice
of Mighty Mites football,
five- and six-year-oldsplaying flag football.
When out of the cornerof my eye--
I'm therewith the whole family--
I see a Cholocoming straight for us.
Everybody close your eyes
and imagine your scariestMexican gang member.
That guy'swalking right for us.
Now I'm using "cholo" a lot,
and I'm not sure if anyone'straveling or from out of town.
A cholo is a Latino gentlemanthat you may have seen
with white sockspulled all the way up,
plaid shortsto meet the white socks,
white T-shirt oversized,very similar
to a Catholic schoolgirl'suniform.
It's a lot scarier.
Maybe some neck tattoos,gold chain.
I'm not sureif anybody wants
to stand upand make this easier.