My name's Alex.
You may not recognize my name,but you might recognize
my hairdo and beardfrom the Old Testament.(laughter)
I think a lot of peoplehave a crazy look
they're going forin the big city.
I like to call mine,"face raped by the woods."
I also, uh, believe
that everybody has an alcoholin their life
that they just won'tmess with anymore.
'Cause one nightthey messed with it,
and it messed back way...too hard.
And mine is tequila.
No, not "whoo."(laughter)
That is an ugly cup of dumband destructive behavior.
And then you drink itand metabolize it.
Tequila is the only alcohol
that has ever made me black out.
Just one glass, just one tinypint glass of tequila
made me black out.(laughter)
That's not good.
And I was telling this to afriend of mine the other night,
and he was like, "Alex, thatwon't happen if you drink
the good tequila."
If you drink expensive tequila,that's not going to happen.
And that's crap.
It will happen.
I think it's justgoing to happen
on a much classier,more expensive level
than it usually does.
Like, instead of coming homeand punching a hole
in the kitchen wall, or almostdrowning in toilet water...(laughter)
I think it will look more like,
"Alex, do you remember anythingyou did last night?"
"No, man, what happened?"
"You drove a boat intothe Smithsonian, you (bleep)."
"And then you punchedthe Hope Diamond
and you puked two poundsof caviar into a Gucci bag."