Alex Koll - Tequila

Season 4, Ep 0408 12/11/2009 Views: 2,660

Everybody has their drink that knocked them into last week. Alex's is tequila, and it only took one pint. (1:50)

My name's Alex.


You may not recognize my name,but you might recognize

my hairdo and beardfrom the Old Testament.(laughter)


I think a lot of peoplehave a crazy look

they're going forin the big city.

I like to call mine,"face raped by the woods."


I also, uh, believe

that everybody has an alcoholin their life

that they just won'tmess with anymore.

'Cause one nightthey messed with it,

and it messed back way...too hard.

And mine is tequila.


No, not "whoo."(laughter)

Boo! Boo!

That is an ugly cup of dumband destructive behavior.

And then you drink itand metabolize it.

Tequila is the only alcohol

that has ever made me black out.

Just one glass, just one tinypint glass of tequila

made me black out.(laughter)

That's not good.

And I was telling this to afriend of mine the other night,

and he was like, "Alex, thatwon't happen if you drink

the good tequila."

If you drink expensive tequila,that's not going to happen.

And that's crap.

It will happen.

I think it's justgoing to happen

on a much classier,more expensive level

than it usually does.


Like, instead of coming homeand punching a hole

in the kitchen wall, or almostdrowning in toilet water...(laughter)

I think it will look more like,

"Alex, do you remember anythingyou did last night?"

"No, man, what happened?"

"You drove a boat intothe Smithsonian, you (bleep)."


"And then you punchedthe Hope Diamond

and you puked two poundsof caviar into a Gucci bag."