Kevin Hart - Permission to Cuss

Season 1 , Ep 0101 Views: 533,736

After a nosey teacher makes a rude remark, Kevin Hart's mom gives him permission to cuss just one time. (1:57)

MY MOM GAVE ME PERMISSIONTO CUSS ONE TIME.

ONE TIME, SHE GAVE MEPERMISSION TO CUSS.

I'M IN SCHOOL.

I'M BEING BAD.

MY TEACHER GOT MAD AND SAID,"KEVIN, COME HERE."

TOLD ME COME TO THE FRONT OF THECLASS, WROTE A NOTE, STAPLED THE

NOTE TO MY CHEST, SAID, "MAKESURE YOUR MOTHER READ THE NOTE."

I GET HOME.

MY MOM READS THE NOTE.

THE NOTE SAID, "MAYBE IF YOUSHOWED YOUR SON SOME MORE

ATTENTION AT HOME, HE WOULDN'TACT LIKE A FOOL IN SCHOOL,"

RIGHT?

MY MOM READ THE NOTE.

SHE SAID, "LET ME TELL YOUSOMETHING.

YOU TELL HER, MIND HERDAMN BUSINESS BEFORE I COME DOWN

THERE AND I BEAT HER ASS."

I SAID, "OKAY, DO YOU WANT ME TOSAY IT LIKE THAT, OR DO YOU

WANT ME TO TAKE SOME STUFF OUT?""WHAT DID I SAY?

TELL HER MIND HER DAMN BUSINESSBEFORE I COME DOWN THERE AND

I BEAT HER ASS."

I SAID, "NO, I HEARD WHAT YOUSAID.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THATYOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE TELLING ME

TO SAY THE SAME THING."

"KEVIN, IF I TELL YOU AGAIN, I'MGONNA SMACK THE SHIT OUT YOU."

"OKAY, NO, I GOT IT.

OKAY, I GOT IT.

I GOT IT.

OKAY, I GOT IT.

NO, I GOT IT.

ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT."

KEEP IN MIND, THIS IS A LOT OFPRESSURE, ALL RIGHT?

MY MOM JUST GAVE ME PERMISSIONTO GO TO SCHOOL TO CUSS MY

TEACHER OUT.

I DIDN'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITHTHE SITUATION, SO I WANTED TO

PRACTICE.

I WANTED TO GO UPSTAIRS.

I WANTED TO GO OVER MY LINES.

SO I'M IN THE MIRROR.

I'M GOING OVER MY LINES.

I'M LIKE, "OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

MY MOM TOLD ME TO TELL YOUTO MIND YOUR DAMN..."

NO, THAT'S TOO LOUD.

THAT'S WAY TOO LOUD.

THAT'S NOT BELIEVABLE.

IT'S TOO LOUD.

FINALLY, I GO OVER IT.

I GET IT DOWN.

I'M LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA GO TO BED EARLY,GET SOME REST, BECAUSE I'VE GOT

A BIG DAY AHEAD OF ME TOMORROW.

I DON'T REALLY WANT TO MESSTHIS UP."

SO I GO TO BED.

I WAKE UP, GET DRESSED, PUT ONMY PANTS AND MY SHIRT.

I GET ON THE SCHOOL BUS.

ALL OF MY FRIENDS SEE ME.

THE GET HYPED.

"OHHH, KEVIN'S ON THE BUS.

EVERYBODY LOOK.

KEV ON THE BUS.

WHAT UP, KEV?"I WAS LIKE, "YO, NOT TODAY,

Y'ALL.

I'VE GOT A LOT OF STUFFON MY MIND.

I CAN'T REALLY HAVE Y'ALLTHROWING ME OFF."

AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE,"WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?"

I SAID, "I CAN'T REALLY GETINTO INTO IT.

ALL I CAN TELL Y'ALL IS THATIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN."

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