Doug Benson - Disneyland Tips

Benson, Rhodes, DeVido Season 2, Ep 1 05/31/1994 Views: 4,905

Disneyland would be more fun if they handed out guns at the "It's a Small World" ride. (2:14)

That was pretty,uh, pretty cool.

I think that place would be alot more fun if they gave guns

to everyone on their way intothe it's a small world ride.

You know, just turnthat damn thing

into a giganticshooting gallery.


[gun shots]

World's gettingsmaller every moment.

I just tagged a littlefreak from Iceland.

Lights out, baby.

You know, ha ha ha.

[fart noise]

I-- I was at, uh,the Disneyland.

I was enjoying myself,having probably too much fun.

You know, I get alittle silly sometimes.

I was on this SplashMountain ride.

What it is it's a, uh, flumeride where you sit in a uh--

you heard me, flume ride--you sit in a hollowed out tree

and you float aroundfor like 20 minutes,

watching bears andrabbits sing and crap.

And then-- OK, theyjust sing-- and then

at the very end-- at thevery end of the attraction,

you plummet 40 storiesinto the briar patch.

And as you're plunging,they take your picture.

Because you don't buy enoughjunk when you're at Disneyland.

You need a photographof yourself

going-- like a complete lunatic.

So I wanted to havefun with it, you know.

So I went down guns blazing,you know, both birds flying.

And um-- I flippedoff the camera.

And apparently they don't reallycare for this kind of behavior

at the Magic Kingdom, becauseyou come around the corner

at the end of the ride andthere's this giant screen

that they projectthe picture on.

And I come aroundthe corner and it's

blank like nothingever happened.

Like the goofy policegot right on it,

you know, like they ranin and went, ha ha, nope.

So now-- now there'sthese tourists

who are on the ride withme who completely snap.

I don't even know thesepeople and they're

in my face screaming at me, oh!

You ruined it forthe entire log!

The thing I love about NewYork-- oh get outta here--

the thing I loveabout New York is

that I can walk down thestreet practicing my act.

You know, and-- becauseeverybody's walking

around muttering to themselveslike a bunch of crazies.

So it's really no big dealto see a guy walking down

the street going, crap,damn son of a bitch,

you ruined it forthe entire log!