I ran into my biological fatherrecently.
I told my friend.He was, like,
"Is your biological fathera good person?"
And I was, like, "If he were,I probably would not
refer to himas my biological father."
Most people say "Dad."
I look exactly like him.I show my friend a picture.
He was, like, "Oh, my God,
it's like you guys wereseparated at birth."
I liked the cool dadwhen I was a kid.
My friend's dadwould smoke weed with us,
and I was, like,"This guy is cool."
You know? Now that I'm older,it turns out he is not cool.
Turns out, he's a grown man thatdid drugs with children, so...
quite the opposite.
First time I met my biologicalfather, he took me out to lunch,
and the placehe took me turned out
to be a family style restaurant,
which... kind of ironic.
They should make broken familystyle restaurants.
You just walk in, like,"Where is the waiter?"
"I think he abandoned us.
I don't know, but..."
They forget to come outand sing "Happy Birthday."
They're, like,"We forgot, but...
we'll make it up to younext year."
Another guy comes out,he's, like,
"I don't actually work here.
"I'm just bangingthe owner, huh?
I'll be your step waiter."
Is that one too realfor the crowd? Sorry.