Michael Ian Black - Ambien Racing

Michael Ian Black: Very Famous Season 1, Ep 101 07/27/2011 Views: 7,829

If you hand Michael Ian Black a pill, he will swallow it first and ask questions later. (1:37)

I WANT TO HAVE MY OWNDRINK NAMED AFTER ME.

'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,THEY HAVE THOSE.

THEY HAVE THOSE DRINKSNAMED AFTER PEOPLE,

LIKE, YOU KNOW,THE TOM COLLINS

OR THE HARVEY WALLBANGER.

I WANNA HAVETHE MICHAEL IAN BLACK.

AND I FIGURED OUTWHAT IT IS.

ALL IT IS IS AN AMBIEN

DIPPED IN COOL WHIP.

ALL RIGHT? JUST...

[laughter and applause]

THAT WOULD BE A GOOD DRINK.

THAT WOULD BEA DELICIOUS DRINK.

THEY DO A NICE JOB WITHTHIS AMBIEN PRODUCT, YOU GUYS.

I KNOW, BECAUSE I TAKE ITRECREATIONALLY.

AND WHAT I'VE STARTED DOING

IS PLAYING THIS GAME,WHICH I WILL TEACH TO YOU.

IT'S CALLED AMBIEN RACING.

HERE'S HOW YOU PLAY.

ON YOUR DRIVE HOMETONIGHT...

OH, SOME OF YOUKNOW THIS GAME?

WHEN YOU GET,LIKE, 15, 20 MINUTES

AWAY FROM YOUR HOUSE,

TAKE AN AMBIEN...

AND THEN JUST TRYTO BEAT IT.

REALLY FUN, AND MAKESTHE LAST PART OF THE DRIVE

GO REALLY FAST, YOU GUYS.

'CAUSE, YEAH, I DON'T--I DON'T DRINK

AND I DON'T DO DRUGS.

BUT I'LL TAKE A PILL,YOU KNOW?

I'LL TAKE ANY PILL.YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

'CAUSE PILLS CAN'T HURT ME!

'CAUSE THEY'RE MADEBY COMPANIES!

I'M THE KIND OF GUY,

LIKE, YOU GIVE ME A PILL,

I WILL TAKE IT,

AND THEN I WILL SAY,"WHAT WAS THAT?"

I DON'T CARE.