- Oh, my God.
What the [bleep] happened here?
- Dude, thanks for coming.
I'm in a real bad placeright now, man.
I could sure use a friend.
- What did you do, Steve?
You told me on the phoneyou just had a dead battery
and you wanted me to give youa ride home.
- That was just codein case someone was listening.
You know, dead battery,dead hooker.
Dude, everyone knows that.
- Everyone knows that?
Oh, my God!
Steve, I can't be here.
I-I told my wifeI'd be right back.
- Whoa!Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Pete, just hold on a minute.
Now, you asked mesix months ago
if I ever woke up next toa dead hooker,
who would I call?
- It was a god damnhypothetical.
It was bar banter,
the verbal equivalentof darts.
It passes the time!
But, okay, okay,I guess I can help her,
I don't know, get dressedor something.
Oh, my God!What's that?
I didn't expect--
- That's a biker with a machetein his [bleep] head?
What the [bleep], Steve?
Who is that?
- Long story.
But the dead hooker, Starla,
that's her boyfriend, Diablo.
They were trying to rob me,Petey.
That asshole came in here,
waving a gun around
as I was jamming Starla from behind.
You should have seen me, man.
You know how I do.
I had to chop his arm off with the machete.
It was self-defense.
- But where did you get a--holy shit!
- Oh, I can explain that.
That's Starla's pimp, Mr. Fu.
He walks in here all willy-nilly,
"[bleep] you, bitch!
Give me my money."
And he slaps her, bro.
And you know me, man.
You know me, Pete.
I will not stand forhitting a woman.
- That--that's why youshot a man?
- Well, yeah.
Took the gun from the biker.
- Okay, yeah, self-defense.
This is crazy.This is crazy.
This is crazy, Steve.
You killed a lot of people.
Accident, self-defense,you can--this is really bad.
- Dude, I know.
I'm in over my head,
but I'm the good guy.
It's all just a weirdseries of events.
But the copswill never buy it.
You got to help outyour best pal, Petey.
- Mr. Fu,wash your clothes, man.
That's a load off my mind.
Hey, man, you never told mehow that hooker died.
Oh, I strangled her.
Come on,let's get some tacos.