Body Count

#InsideRoy Season 2, Ep 15 07/18/2016 Views: 2,203

A man gets an unexpected request from his buddy, who has a perfectly reasonable explanation for all that blood. (2:38)

- Oh, my God.

What the [bleep] happened here?

- Pete.

- Wha?Steve?

- Dude, thanks for coming.

I'm in a real bad placeright now, man.

I could sure use a friend.

- What did you do, Steve?

You told me on the phoneyou just had a dead battery

and you wanted me to give youa ride home.

- That was just codein case someone was listening.

You know, dead battery,dead hooker.

Dude, everyone knows that.

- Everyone knows that?

Oh, my God!

She's dead!

Steve, I can't be here.

I-I told my wifeI'd be right back.

- Whoa!Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Pete, just hold on a minute.

Now, you asked mesix months ago

if I ever woke up next toa dead hooker,

who would I call?

- It was a god damnhypothetical.

It was bar banter,

the verbal equivalentof darts.

It passes the time!

But, okay, okay,I guess I can help her,

I don't know, get dressedor something.

Oh, my God!What's that?

Oh! Oh!

I didn't expect--

- That's a biker with a machetein his [bleep] head?

Drooling blood.

What the [bleep], Steve?

Who is that?

- Long story.

But the dead hooker, Starla,

that's her boyfriend, Diablo.

They were trying to rob me,Petey.

That asshole came in here,

waving a gun around

as I was jamming Starla from behind.

You should have seen me, man.

You know how I do.

I had to chop his arm off with the machete.

It was self-defense.

- But where did you get a--holy shit!

- Oh, I can explain that.

That's Starla's pimp, Mr. Fu.

He walks in here all willy-nilly,

"[bleep] you, bitch!

Give me my money."

And he slaps her, bro.

And you know me, man.

You know me, Pete.

I will not stand forhitting a woman.

- That--that's why youshot a man?

- Well, yeah.

Took the gun from the biker.

Self-defense, man.

- Okay, yeah, self-defense.

This is crazy.This is crazy.

This is crazy, Steve.

You killed a lot of people.

Accident, self-defense,you can--this is really bad.

- Dude, I know.

I'm in over my head,

but I'm the good guy.

It's all just a weirdseries of events.

But the copswill never buy it.

You got to help outyour best pal, Petey.

- [groaning]

- Mr. Fu,wash your clothes, man.

[laughs]

All right.

[both groaning]

- [whistles]

Whoa!

[both sigh]

That's a load off my mind.

Hey, man, you never told mehow that hooker died.

Oh, I strangled her.

Come on,let's get some tacos.