Pet Custody Battles in Alaskan Divorce Court

Wednesday, January 25, 2017 01/25/2017 Views: 154

Alaska has changed up the way it classifies pets in custody hearings, so Erik Griffin, Jenny Zigrino and Andrew Santino name other rules that the state might enact. (1:25)

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If you're like me,when you hear the words

"Alaskan divorce court"you probably have some

picture in your head of, like,a 70-year-old bounty hunter

arm-wrestlinga one-legged prostitute

over who gets the fishing rightsup at Dead Guy Lake.

It's always the bear, bythe way. It's always the bear.

But last week,in a progressive move,

Alaskan courts became the firstin the nation to reclassify pets

in divorce proceedingsto allow for joint custody.

It's a very revolutionary...

Are you guys thinkingabout getting divorced?

-Is this why you're veryexcited? "Oh, you can do that."

It's a very revolutionary movein divorce proceedings

because everywhere else, dogsare treated basically the same

as a car,which was causing problems

in some parts of Alaskawhere their dog

-is technically their car.-(laughter)

Uh... so...

-(applause)-This made me realize...

Made me realize I don't thinkmost of us have any idea

what goes onin an Alaskan divorce court.

So comedians, what is another

rule you'd hearin an Alaskan divorce court?

-Jenny. -That you are entitledto a no-fault divorce

if your spouse (bleep) a Yetior Sarah Palin.

-HARDWICK: All right, points.-(laughter)

-Points.-Oh, yeah.

-HARDWICK: Andrew.-Oh.

Two-drink minimum,don't touch the dancers.

-Next up-- Areola Borealis!-(laughter, applause)

HARDWICK: Points.Oh, what a great stripper name!


-Oh, that's the best strippername ever. -Thank you, dude.

-Erik.-Okay, uh,

you can walk away scot-free

if you didn't get a good lookat them

because it's dark for six monthsout of the year.

-HARDWICK: Yeah. Points.-(laughter)