If you're like me,when you hear the words
"Alaskan divorce court"you probably have some
picture in your head of, like,a 70-year-old bounty hunter
arm-wrestlinga one-legged prostitute
over who gets the fishing rightsup at Dead Guy Lake.
It's always the bear, bythe way. It's always the bear.
But last week,in a progressive move,
Alaskan courts became the firstin the nation to reclassify pets
in divorce proceedingsto allow for joint custody.
It's a very revolutionary...
Are you guys thinkingabout getting divorced?
-Is this why you're veryexcited? "Oh, you can do that."
It's a very revolutionary movein divorce proceedings
because everywhere else, dogsare treated basically the same
as a car,which was causing problems
in some parts of Alaskawhere their dog
-is technically their car.-(laughter)
-(applause)-This made me realize...
Made me realize I don't thinkmost of us have any idea
what goes onin an Alaskan divorce court.
So comedians, what is another
rule you'd hearin an Alaskan divorce court?
-Jenny. -That you are entitledto a no-fault divorce
if your spouse (bleep) a Yetior Sarah Palin.
-HARDWICK: All right, points.-(laughter)
Two-drink minimum,don't touch the dancers.
-Next up-- Areola Borealis!-(laughter, applause)
HARDWICK: Points.Oh, what a great stripper name!
-Oh, that's the best strippername ever. -Thank you, dude.
you can walk away scot-free
if you didn't get a good lookat them
because it's dark for six monthsout of the year.
-HARDWICK: Yeah. Points.-(laughter)