'Cause the problem I haveis that the kids on my team,
they don't wantto play baseball.
If you asked my son
what he wants to be right now--
That's it.That's his jam, superheroes.
He wears a cape.
Like, that's hiseveryday outfit.
Like, his cape is his favoritething in the world to wear.
He runs around the house,[bleep] cape,
"Look at me, flying and shit."
So now he wants to wear a capeto Little League practice.
Yeah, so I'm gonnaask the parents in here,
what would you doif your son or daughter
wanted to wear a capeto Little League practice?
Do--some people say, "Do it."
You are the sensitive people.
No, the answer is,
no capes at Little Leaguepractice, okay?
He came to me,and he was like,
"Daddy, I want to wear a capeto Little League."
I'm like, "No, buddy.No cape at Little League."
"Please, Daddy.I really want to do it."
"No. Buddy,you cannot wear a cape."
"Please, Daddy.It'll make me run faster."
And I'm like, "Fine, [bleep] it.Wear the red one. Just wear it."
And he wears the red one,
and now once one kidwears a cape--
yes, that's whythe answer is no.
Once one kid wears a cape,
now all the kids want capes.
All the kids on my teamwant capes.
We play--half my team shows upin capes now.
Half of it.
We play other teams,
those kids see our capes,
and they're like, "Oh, shit,we want capes too!"
They're telling their parents,"We want capes!"
Their parents come over,and they're yelling at me,
and it's such a differencebetween the mom and the dads.
The dads come over like, "Dude,
"what's withthe [bleep] capes, man?
"This isn't the Justice League.Cut this shit out, okay?
The mothers come over like,
"What you're doingfor those handicapped kids
"is unbelievable, sir.
You're a pillarof the community."