Extended - Everything the 2016 Election Made Us Miss - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, November 10, 2016 - Uncensored 11/10/2016 Views: 238

Sean Donnelly, Matt Braunger and Jen Kirkman catch up on the outlandish internet news that was overshadowed by the 2016 election and use movies to explain our new reality. (2:48)

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THIS WEEK,AMERICA CHOSE OUR NEXT

PRESIDENT-- A HAT.

(LAUGHTER)IF THAT'S NOT DISTURBING ENOUGH,

WE JUST REALIZED THAT WHILE WEWERE IMMERSED IN THE YEAR-LONG

ARMY CRAWL THROUGH DIARRHEA THATWAS THE 2016 CAMPAIGN, THAT

REALLY KIND OF FEELS LIKE, "ALLTHAT SHIT ANDY DUFRESNE CRAWLED

THROUGH TO GET OUT OF PRISON."

(LAUGHTER)THERE WAS A BUNCH OF PIPING-HOT

FIRE EMOJI CONTENT FROM THEWORLD WIDE WEB THAT WE DIDN'T

GET TO COVER, LIKE VLADIMIRPUTIN AWARDING STEVEN SEAGAL

RUSSIAN CITIZENSHIP, HUH?

(AUDIENCE GROANING)AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.

NOW YOU DO.

THIS DARING HEIST TO STEAL 50GRAND WORTH OF BULL SEMEN, HUH?

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)VERY EXCITING.

I HOPE IT WAS ALREADY OUT OF THEBULL WHEN THEY TRIED TO STEAL

IT.

(LAUGHTER)AND THIS NIGHTMARE-INDUCING LEGO

MAN COSPLAY.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)THIS LOOKS LIKE A BATMAN VILLAIN

HAPPENED.

IT WAS JUST LIKE HE FELL INTO AVAT AT THE LEGO FACTORY, AND

THEN BECAME THIS GUY.

SO, TONIGHT, WE'RE GONNA REVISITSOME OF THE COMEDY GOLD WE

FAILED TO MINE DURING THEELECTION BECAUSE WE'RE PRETTY

FUCKING TIRED ABOUT TALKINGABOUT THIS FUCKING ELECTION.

LIKE, WE TOTALLY MISSED THISONE.

(PERSON CLAPPING)ELON MUSK... THANK YOU, ONE GUY.

WE TOTALLY MISSED...

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)ELON MUSK...

I KNOW, YOU GUYS WANT TO STILLKEEP TALKING ABOUT IT.

ELON MUSK, THE HANDSOMEBILLIONAIRE INVENTOR WHO'S

ONE-ACCIDENT-IN-A-LAB FIRE AWAYFROM BEING HIS OWN ORIGIN

STORY...

MAYBE HE'S THAT GUY.

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE... MAYBE THIS IS ELONMUSK, 2025.

WE DON'T KNOW.

BUT HE SAID THAT WE AREDEFINITELY LIVING IN A

MATRIX-STYLE SIMULATION.

"THE TELEGRAPH" QUOTED HIM ASSAYING, "MAYBE WE SHOULD BE

HOPEFUL THIS IS A SIMULATIONBECAUSE OTHERWISE, WE'RE GONNA

CREATE SIMULATIONSINDISTINGUISHABLE FROM REALITY,

OR CIVILIZATION CEASES TOEXIST."

SO, LET ME ASK YOU THIS.

IF THIS IS A SIMULATED REALITY,WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD SOMEONE

VIRTUALLY CREATE THIS, ABLOBFISH? WHY?

>> AH.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)WHY?

AND WHY DOES IT LOOK SO SAD?

IT'S LIKE A...

(LAUGHTER)IT'S LIKE A GRUMPY CATFISH,

OR... OR HE LOOKS LIKE THE ZIGGYCOMICS, BUT, LIKE, REALLY OLD.

(LAUGHTER)I THINK ELON MUSK COULD BE ONTO

SOMETHING WITH THE MATRIXTHEORY.

SO, COMEDIANS, WHAT OTHER MOVIECOULD WE USE TO EXPLAIN REALITY?

JEN KIRKMAN.

>> UM, "BACK TO THE FUTURE,"BECAUSE THE CUBS WON, A FASCIST

IS RUNNING THINGS, ANDHOVERBOARDS LOOK STUPID.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)POINTS. POINTS.

IT'S TECHNICALLY "BACK TO THEFUTURE II," BUT THAT'S ALL

RIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)>> SORRY.

>> HARDWICK: SEAN.

>> UH, "GIGLI," BECAUSE ITSUCKS, AND I MAKE NO MONEY.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE & CHEERING)MATT BRAUNGER.

>> IN TWO YEARS, "THE HUNGERGAMES."

RIGHT NOW, "TITANIC."

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

(AUDIENCE GROANING, APPLAUSE)"GENTLEMEN, IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE

WORKING WITH YOU."

(HUMMING LIKE VIOLIN)>> LET'S HOPE...

(LAUGHTER)(IMITATES WATER GURGLING)

(LAUGHTER)(IMITATES WATER GURGLING)

>> WOW.