It's now timefor the #HashtagWars.
(applause and cheering)
Hey, viewer, do you love readingwhile drunk, but you're tired
of getting kicked outof the public library?
Well, good news!
Barnes & Noble'sgonna start selling booze!
-(whooping, applause)-Wow! Sure!
(laughs) Everyone'sfavorite place to read manga
on a dirty carpet will nowhave a two-drink minimum
and... and they'll let youspill wine inside of it.
But I betthe self-help section's
gonna be a party time,so in honor of Barnes & Noble
putting the "lit" in literature,
tonight's hashtag is#DrunkBooks.
Examples might be: Atlas Chugged, uh...
and: Catcher in the Ginger Ale, Please, I'm Driving.
I'm gonna put 60 secondson the clock, and begin.
-Ron Funches. -As I Lay Puking.
-All right, points.-(laughter)
-Braunger. -The Three Musty Beers.
-Moby Whiskey Dick. -All right, points.
-Tequila Mockingbird. -Points!
(cheering, whistling, applause)
A Farewell to Arms and the Contents of My Stomach.
All right, points. Ron.
The Lion, That Bitch, and That Court Order I'm Not Following.
All right, points. Marcella.
Are You There, Floor? It's Me, Face.
-Marcella. -The Fermented Grapes of Wrath.
All right, points.
-Ron. -The Secret Is... I'm Drunk.
All right, points. Braunger.
Moby's a Dick Since He Started Drinking Again.
All right, good. Perfect.